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30 April 1998
The Maid
Jerry dates his maid, and blurs the...
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Jerry dates his maid, and blurs the fine line between professional relationship and prostitution. Kramer begins a long-distance relationship. Elaine becomes annoyed at all the faxes she's getting from Kramer's restaurant service and has her phone number changed. But she gets a new area code and that only complicates things. George gets an unwanted nickname at Kruger.
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23 April 1998
The Frogger
Jerry and George find out that their...
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Jerry and George find out that their old high school hangout location, Mario's Pizza, is about to close down, so they decide to go back for one last slice. After being greeted coldly by the cynical Mario, George's eye happens to fall on a Frogger machine which he used to play endlessly. After examining the game, he realizes that he still holds the top score he placed in high school. Jerry reminds him that if he unplugs the machine, the roster will be reset. With time running out until Mario's closes down, George tries to track down some of Kramer's friends to help him transport the Frogger to his house without the Frogger losing power. Elaine, meanwhile, has accidentally eaten a 70-year old piece of cake from that her boss, Mr. Peterman, bought at an auction. She tries to replace it with an accurate replica of said slice - an Entimanns - without the professional Peterman has hired to give the slice an estimate noticing.
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09 April 1998
The Bookstore
While at Brentano's, George is...
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While at Brentano's, George is accused of taking an expensive art book in the bathroom. George has a hard time getting rid of said book. Jerry catches Uncle Leo shoplifting and has a hard time dealing with the situation. Kramer and Newman set up a rickshaw business using New York's homeless population but the plans quickly backfire. Elaine gets in trouble when she has a drunken make out session at Peterman's Christmas party and Peterman orders the guy to attend rehab.
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19 March 1998
The Burning
Jerry is stunned to learn that his...
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Jerry is stunned to learn that his new girlfriend has a mysterious "tractor story" that she is not telling him. Kramer and Mickey act out symptoms for medical school students, but Kramer gets repeatedly typecast. George perfects the showmanship art of going out on a high note during meetings at Kruger. Meanwhile, Elaine is stunned to learn that Puddy is religious, and he informs her that she's going to hell.
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26 February 1998
The Wizard
Kramer learns that he's finally...
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Kramer learns that he's finally making some royalties from his coffee table book. He decides to retire to Florida and live in the same condo complex as Jerry's parents. Jerry goes to visit his parents in Florida and gives his dad his birthday present - a Wizard portable computer. Morty thinks it only has one primary use - as a tip calculator. Kramer decides to run for the condo board of directors and Morty decides to use Kramer to install a puppet regime and wield power from behind the scenes. Jerry decides that in order for Kramer to win they need to get tip calculators for everyone in the complex. Meanwhile, everyone questions the ethnicity of Elaine's new boyfriend, and George is dragged by the Ross's up to his fake house in the Hamptons.
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05 February 1998
The Strongbox
Kramer buys a strong box because...
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Kramer buys a strong box because there have been several robberies in the building. He tries to hide the key but Jerry keeps finding it. George is trying to break up with his girlfriend Maura, but can't convince her to leave. Jerry doesn't recognize his new neighbor, Phil, and won't let him in the building. Elaine is dating a poor man who she thinks is a super hero.
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29 January 1998
The Cartoon
Elaine accidentally steals a "Ziggy"...
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Elaine accidentally steals a "Ziggy" cartoon and sends it to the New Yorker as one of her own. Jerry confides in Kramer that a fellow comedian, Sally Weaver, should quit stand up. Kramer tells her this and she then targets Jerry as the devil in her act. She gains popularity and gets her own cable special. George is dating a woman who looks like Jerry.
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15 January 1998
The Reverse Peephole
Jerry, George, Elaine, and Putty get...
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Jerry, George, Elaine, and Putty get invited to Joe Mayo's party. Elaine throws Putty's fur out the his window. Kramer and Newman put reverse peepholes so they can see if anyone is in their apartment before entering. The super tries to evict Newman but Kramer sticks up for him. Newman begins a secret love affair with the super's wife and Kramer gets worried. Newman finds Putty's fur in a tree and George winds up paying for a massage chair because his back is tweaked from his fat wallet. Jerry carries a purse and wears a fur to fool the super and gets robbed on the street.
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08 January 1998
The Dealership
Jerry goes to buy a new car from...
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Jerry goes to buy a new car from David Puddy, who's been promoted to the sales floor. But after Elaine breaks up with Puddy (again), Jerry is worried that he wont get a good deal on the car. George seeks revenge on a mechanic after he accuses the mechanic of stealing his candy bar. Kramer takes the same car Jerry is looking at out on a long test drive to see how far he can go on free gas without filling up the tank.
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18 December 1997
The Strike
Kramer returns to H&H bagels after a...
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Kramer returns to H&H bagels after a 12 year strike. Elaine gives "demin vest" a fake number on her free sub card. Jerry meets a woman named Gwen who is "two faced". (She doesn't look good in some light)George creates a fake charity called "the human fund" to give fake Christmas presents at Kruger. He invites Kruger over to celebrate "Festivus" when he can't cash the 20,000 dollar charity check to "the human fund".
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11 December 1997
The Apology
George goes out of his way to seek an...
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George goes out of his way to seek an apology for an insult. Elaine is insulted when a fellow co-worker is scared of her germs, while Puddy admits that he's a fellow germophobe. Jerry dates a nudist and learns the difference between good naked and bad naked. Kramer installs a garbage disposal in his shower.
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06 November 1997
The Merv Griffin Show
Kramer happens to find the old set of...
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Kramer happens to find the old set of the Merv Griffin Show in a dumpster, and promptly fixes it all up in his apartment, where he starts to treat his life like an interview show. Elaine get's ticked off by the new guy at her office who keeps sidling up beside her without her noticing. George's girlfriend forces him to take care of a squirrel he runs over, whilst Jerry's girlfriend has a fantastic toy collection but won't let him play with it.
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30 October 1997
The Junk Mail
Kramer becomes annoyed at all the...
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Kramer becomes annoyed at all the junk mail he gets, so he decides to stage a crusade against the post office. Jerry runs into "Fragile Frankie", a former childhood acquaintance, who tries to sell Jerry a huge new van. Frank and Estelle try to find a way to spice up their love life, against George's objections. Meanwhile, Elaine dumps Puddy for a guy who does TV spots for an electronics store called "Nobody Beats The Wiz".
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16 October 1997
The Blood
Jerry starts gaining weight and his...
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Jerry starts gaining weight and his parents hire Izzy Mandelbaum (see episode "The English Patient") to assist Jerry as a personal trainer. Kramer starts giving blood and uses his own refrigerator to store it, but it freaks Jerry out. Then, George starts dating a woman who uses incense, and he gets the idea to associate food and sex with his love life. He makes something called "pudding skin singles" using an Exacto knife. Back at Jerry's, he yells at Kramer to get the blood away from him, but then he pounds the table and the Exacto flies at him and cuts his throat. Jerry loses blood and Kramer gives Jerry some of his, causing Jerry to freak out. Meanwhile, Elaine is out in the suburbs visiting her friend Vivian. Vivian wants somebody to watch her troublesome son Jimmy but she doesn't think Elaine is responsible enough. So Elaine goes to great lengths to prove it, even taking Kramer's spot. Vivian then tells Elaine that she is experiencing some health problems, and that Elaine might be on deck as a permanent babysitter for Jimmy. The next day, Izzy shows up at Jerry's and takes him to a gymnasium, circa 1920. Kramer keeps trying to get Jerry to pay back the favor of donating blood by letting him and Newman watch a video. Unfortunately, it's an instructional video on how to make your own sausage. Izzy sees the sausages and orders them to be thrown out. George ups the ante on his Caligula complex by eating pastrami sandwiches during love making. Elaine watches little Jimmy but is quickly running out of purses. The next day Newman and Kramer are mad at Jerry and Kramer asks to borrow Jerry's car to take his blood back to the blood bank. Jerry obliges and, but the engine in the car burns out and Kramer uses blood to replace the oil. George decides to up the ante again and add television to the equation but then his girlfriend finally catches wind of what George is doing and dumps him. Later that day, George gets infatuated at the coffee shop eating a sandwich. After that, Jerry meets up with Izzy, who ties Jerry to the back of his car and starts pulling him. Jerry collapses when Izzy's son speeds up the car when he notices blood dripping on his feet. George meets Vivian, who shares his passion for the erotic qualities of salted cured meats. George meets Jerry in the hospital and now he's watching out for Jimmy. Jerry learns who the blood donor is this time around, and it's Newman.
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09 October 1997
The Serenity Now
Frank sets up a new business selling...
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Frank sets up a new business selling computers and hires George and Lloyd Braun (seen in "The Non Fat Yogurt" and "The Gum") to compete against each other in a sales contest. But Frank's relaxation technique drives everybody completely nuts. Jerry's new girlfriend encourages him to let his emotions out. Kramer takes Frank's screen door and puts it up in his apartment, creating "Anytown, USA", but the local kids make relaxation difficult. Elaine discovers her "shiksa appeal" and suddenly every Jewish man in New York, including her former boss, is attracted to her.
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02 October 1997
The Voice
Kramer sets up a new company -...
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Kramer sets up a new company - Kramerica Industries, and hires an intern from NYU to help out with the day to day activities of running a fake large company. Jerry thinks his girlfriend's navel is talking to him. George continues to work for Play Now even though his boss is trying to force him out after George lied about being handicapped. Elaine makes wagers with Jerry that she will not continue to see David Puddy.
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25 September 1997
The Butter Shave
Kramer discovers a new use for butter...
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Kramer discovers a new use for butter by applying it to his face while he shaves, but he accidentally cooks himself when he uses it as sunscreen. George gets a job with a company that makes playground equipment, and really enjoys it after he successfully convinces his boss that he's handicapped. Jerry is riding a wave of success at comedy clubs, but hates the fact that hack comic Kenny Bania is riding his coattails. Elaine is on her way back from Scandinavia with Puddy and they repeatedly break up and gets back together.
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15 May 1997
The Summer of George
George gets a severance check from...
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George gets a severance check from the Yankees and decides to take advantage of his windfall by living it up during the summer. Jerry dates a woman who apparently has another "feller" but when she dumps him he finds out that she is high maintenance so he and George team up to make one normal man. Kramer accidentally gets a Tony and in order to keep it he has to fire Raquel Welch from the production. Elaine is accused of being catty when she makes fun of a woman who doesn't swing her arms when she walks.
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08 May 1997
The Muffin Tops
While promoting Peterman's book,...
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While promoting Peterman's book, Elaine runs into Mr. Lippman, her former boss. She tells him about an idea to sell only the tops of muffins. Lippman does, and Elaine is shocked to see the store. But then Lippman gives Elaine a cut of the profits, and she tells him how to improve the business. Kramer learns that Elaine put his stories in Peterman's book anyways (see episode "The Van Buren Boys"), but when Peterman wont give Kramer a cut of the profits, Kramer starts the Peterman Reality Bus Tour. When Elaine has a hard time getting rid of the muffin stumps, she asks Kramer to take the bus to haul the trash to the dump, but the task is easier said than done. George is asked to watch a guy's suitcase on the street and is mistaken for a tourist. He then gets a date with the head of the New York tourist bureau and decides to run with it. But then the girl meets Steinbrenner and he thinks that George is working two jobs, and George ultimately gets traded to Tyler Chicken in Little Rock, Arkansas in exchange for a bunch of chicken products to be used at Yankee Stadium concession stands. Meanwhile, Jerry starts shaving his chest to impress his new girlfriend.
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01 May 1997
The Millennium
Kramer and Newman begin preliminary...
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Kramer and Newman begin preliminary planning on elaborate parties for New Year's Eve 1999, but separate over whether or not Jerry should be included. George gets a job offer with the Mets and devises creative ways to get fired from the Yankees. Jerry dates a girl named Valerie who uses her speed dial as a way of measuring relationships. But when Jerry takes over the top spot, Valerie's step mother steps in demanding that her spot be put back in place. Meanwhile, Elaine gets in a feud with the owner of a Mayan clothing store when she's completely ignored.
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24 April 1997
The Yada Yada
George's new girlfriend is fond of...
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George's new girlfriend is fond of the expression "yada yada yada". Jerry feels uncomfortable when his dentist converts to Judiasm. Kramer and Mickey have trouble deciding which girl they each prefer when they double date, and Elaine is used as a character reference by some friends planning to adopt but manages to mess things up.
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10 April 1997
The Nap
George finds the perfect way to nap...
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George finds the perfect way to nap at work without getting caught. Kramer begins to swim in the east river when he finds the local pool to be too crowded. Jerry is irritated by his new kitchen contractor who asks too many questions, and Elaine gets the wrong idea when a boyfriend sends her a mattress after the first date.
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13 March 1997
The English Patient
Jerry visits his parents in Florida....
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Jerry visits his parents in Florida. Kramer asks Jerry to pick up some Cubans while he's there, but Kramer doesn't specify whether they are cigars or not. The next day, Jerry has an encounter with Izzy Mandelbaum (Lloyd Bridges), the founder of the Magic Pan crepe restaurant. Izzy challenges Jerry to a weight-lifting contest, but when Izzy takes it too far, he winds up in the hospital. Jerry goes to visit and learns that Izzy, his father and his son are nearly identical in age, and each one challenges Jerry to a weight-lifting contest. Meanwhile, back in New York, Elaine is repeatedly dragged to go see the best picture winning film "The English Patient", but she absolutely despises it. Peterman nearly fires Elaine when she gets angry and leaves half way through the movie. Peterman gets so angry at Elaine that instead of firing her, he decides to teach her a lesson by making her go to Tunisia and live in a cave for six weeks. Jerry gets back to New York and Kramer learns that the Cubans aren't really Cubans but Dominicans. They then take jobs rolling crepes at the Magic Pan restaurant, but get fired and wind up becoming Cubans, hijacking Elaine's plane and flying it to Cuba.
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20 February 1997
The Pothole
Jerry accidentally knocks his...
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Jerry accidentally knocks his girlfriends toothbrush into her toilet. He refuses to tell her and won't kiss her. Kramer adopts a section of highway and tries to improve it. Elaine tries to get chinese food delivered by using a janitors closet in a different building. George drops his Phil Rizutto key chain in a pothole, which gets filled and he tries to dig it out.
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13 February 1997
The Susie
A co-worker of Elaine's thinks Elaine...
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A co-worker of Elaine's thinks Elaine is called Susie, and Elaine doesn't bother to correct her, when she badmouths Elaine to "Susie." Elaine complains of this to Jerry, who commiserates with her. Later, Peggy gets "Susie" called in front of Peterman, who demands that Elaine be there also. Elaine finds a way to wriggle out of the situation so that neither realizes Susie doesn't exist. Meanwhile, Kramer puts 100 dollars on a basketball game in Jerry's name with Mike, the guy Jerry called a phony in "The Parking Space." When Kramer attends the game, he gets in a fight with the players, causing Jerry to win his bet. Mike doesn't have enough money to pay Jerry, however, so he tells him that he'll fix his trunk. As he's looking at it, Jerry doesn't notice him and closes the trunk on Mike's hands. Mike thinks this is a classic case of having his thumbs broken because he can't pay, so he promises he'll get the money. Later, as he's trying to fix it again, Mike falls into the trunk, which locks behind him. When Jerry and Elaine are driving around, Elaine is complaining about Susie, and Jerry says she should "eliminate" her. Mike hears them say this, and then hears them laughing, but he doesn't know they're laughing at someone's t-shirt. The next day, Peterman assigns Susie to a project that Elaine wanted, so she tells Peterman that Susie took her own life. Jerry goes with Elaine to Susie's wake, where they discover that, although Susie only existed for a few days, she has more friends than Elaine, because the room is packed. Peggy see Elaine and thinks she's Susie back from the dead. Elaine tells her that she is Elaine, and Peggy realizes she never met Susie. Elaine goes up to give the eulogy, but Peterman pushes her aside before she has to think of something to say. He then gives this long string of events which clearly never happened and Peterman invent, such as Susie and he sleeping together. Meanwhile, Mike manages to escape from the trunk and realizes he's at the wake of the girl he heard should be "eliminated." He runs in and tells everyone that Jerry killed her, and Jerry just laughs. The episode ends with Peterman making Elaine in charge of a foundation in Susie's honor, which she will spend every spare moment on. This parallel's George's own experience with Susan's death exactly, even down to the exaggerated yell of "SUUUUSIEEEE!" George is dating a sexy blonde, Allison, who has just bought a backless black dress for a ball, and he intends to have her spin her way in. George can't wait, because it'll be his first grand entrance. He's made a lot of grand exits, but for once, he wants to be known as soon as he walks into the room. There is one problem, however; Allison wants to break up with him. He starts not leaving his house and screening his calls because, "If she can't find me, she can't break up with me." He even goes so far as to call her at her house, even though he knows she's at work. However, Kramer breaks up with him for Allison, and decides to attend the ball with George, without George's knowledge. When George tells Kramer to leave, they start pulling on each other, which causes George to fall forward, ripping the back of Kramer's suit and sending him twirling into the room, just as Allison would have done. Everyone congratulates George on a grand entrance.
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06 February 1997
The Van Buren Boys
George is tasked with selecting the...
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George is tasked with selecting the first recipient of the scholarship that's been named in his late fiancée's honor. He very particular about who he selects, Steven Koren, who has a 'solid' 2.0 GPA and an interest in architecture. He soon changes his mind however. Elaine finds herself writing Peterman's autobiography but his life is boring and she doesn't have much to write about. Peterman decides to buy some of Kramer's stories to fill in the gaps in his own life. Meanwhile, Kramer has a run-in with the Van Buren Boys, a local gang.
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30 January 1997
The Comeback
George gets insulted from a co-worker...
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George gets insulted from a co-worker named Reilly during a business meeting with line "Hey George, the ocean called and they're running out of shrimp". He plans to get back at him with the "jerk store" remark, which all his friends try to change. Jerry buys new tennis racket from Milosh, a tennis pro-shop worker because he thinks he is a great tennis player. Jerry finds out that Milosh is a terrible tennis player and Milosh offers Jerry his wife, Patty as some sort of "mideval sexual payola". Patty loses respect for Milosh and begs Jerry to let him win a game of tennis in front of Patty. Elaine is renting videos from "Vincent's Picks" and develops a secret phone relationship with him. She betrays him when she rents "Weekend at Bernie's", a "Gene Pick". Kramer asks Elaine to act as a witness to "pull the plug" if he ever goes into a coma because he watches "The Other Side of Darkness". He finds out that the woman coma victim wakes up and changes his mind after he signs the will. Vincent sends Elaine the play button of his VCR. George flies to Akron to try and zing Reilly with his "jerk store" remark. Elaine meets Vincent at his apartment with vodka, cigarettes, and fireworks and and finds out that he is 15 years old. Kramer goes to meet his lawyer, Shellback, and gets pummeled with tennis balls. George's "jerk store" remark flops, and he tells Reilly that he had sex with his wife. George then learns that Reilly's wife is in a coma.
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16 January 1997
The Money
Jerry buys his parents a Cadillac....
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Jerry buys his parents a Cadillac. His parents sell it to Jack Clompus for 6000 dollars and try and give the money to Jerry. Elaine has stock options at Peterman's and buys George coffee. George feels that she is "sticking" it to him. George tries to convince his parents to stay in Queens because he wants their money. They then decide to buy expensive things and move to Florida. Kramer's girlfriend has the "jimmy legs" and they sleep in the Costanza's apartment when they go to Florida. Jerry buys back the Cadillac from Clompus for 14000 dollars. Clompus crashes it along Alligator Alley. Jerry has to sleep in the Cadillac because he has no money. Elaine hires Morty Seinfeld because he thinks he needs to support Jerry. Peterman returns and dismisses Elaine from her position with no stock options. The Seinfeld's sell their condo and attach a camper to their Cadillac.
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09 January 1997
The Little Jerry
Kramer gets a pet rooster that he...
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Kramer gets a pet rooster that he names after Jerry. Jerry bounces a check at the local liquor store but has difficulty paying it off. So much in fact, that his parents think that Jerry is strapped for cash. Marcelino, the owner of the liquor store, tells Jerry that there is money to be made in underground cockfighting rings. When Little Jerry wins his first fight, Marcelino wants to buy the bird, but Jerry and Kramer refuse to sell. Meanwhile, as part of his duties with the Foundation, George goes to a women's prison where they have just donated a generous sum of money. George dates one of the inmates and gets really turned on by the concept of "conjugal visit sex". When the prisoner escapes, George discovers something even better than conjugal visit sex - fugitive sex. Elaine dates a man who shaves his head, but when she convinces him to grow his hair in, he discovers that he's going bald and looks exactly like George.
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28 November 1996
The Andrea Doria
A shipwreck survivor beats George out...
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A shipwreck survivor beats George out of an apartment, so he decides to tell the apartment board the astonishing tales of Costanza. Elaine dates a guy who has had a series of really bad break-ups. Kramer gets a nagging cough and seeks veterinary advice. Jerry learns that Newman is up for a transfer to Hawaii and tries to help him deliver mail.
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21 November 1996
The Abstinence
Abstinence allows George (Jason...
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Abstinence allows George (Jason Alexander) to become a genius, but it turns Elaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) into an idiot. Jerry gets bumped from career day at his old Jr. High School. Kramer (Michael Richards) turns his apartment into a smoking lounge and all the smoke disfigures his face. Cameo appearance by David Letterman.
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14 November 1996
The Chicken Roaster
Kenny Rogers' Roasters sets up shop...
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Kenny Rogers' Roasters sets up shop across the street from Jerry and Kramer's apartment. Unfortunately, their unusually large chicken sign causes problems for everybody. Kramer and Jerry wind up switching apartments because of it - and personalities. Jerry is freaked out by a wooden doll in Kramer's apartment and Newman gets Kramer hooked on Kenny Roger's chicken. Elaine gets comfortable in her position as president of the catalog but is quickly accused of abusing her company credit card benefits. Especially when Elaine buys George an expensive hat and George purposefully leaves it at his girlfriend's apartment in hopes that it will score another date. Meanwhile, Jerry's old college friend has lunch with him and winds up getting fired, and takes a new job at the Chicken Roaster's.
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07 November 1996
The Checks
Elaine falls hard for her new...
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Elaine falls hard for her new boyfriend, who gets hypnotized every time her hears the song "Desperado". Jerry has to endorse hundreds of royalty checks from Japan because of his work on the "Super Terrific Happy Hour Show" The checks are worth 12 cents each. Jerry claims that he invented the umbrella twirl and then gets ousted by the umbrella salesmen he used to work with. Elaine's new boyfriend has a thing for a furniture designer named Carl Farbman. He buys Kramer a dresser made by Farbman. Kramer's Japanese friends run out of money and wind up staying in the drawers of the dresser. When the hot tub warps the drawers (Jerry can't open them because his hands are cramped from endorsing checks) he axes the Farbman dresser. Elaine's boyfriend tries to stop him but Jerry swings and hits him in the head. While at the hospital, the doctor loses his patient when he becomes hypnotized by Elaine's favorite song, "Witchy Woman".
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31 October 1996
The Fatigues
Kramer volunteers to set up a Jewish...
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Kramer volunteers to set up a Jewish singles mixer. He has a hard time finding a cook for the event until he learns that Frank was a cook in the Korean War. But Frank refuses to cook for the event because he experienced a severe case of shell shock. Meanwhile, Elaine tries to get rid of an unruly employee in Peterman's mailing room but winds up promoting the guy instead. Jerry dates a woman with a mentor, but he gets weirded out when he finds out that the mentor is dating hack comic Kenny Bania. Jerry, inspired by this, decides to take Bania under his wing and mentor Bania to the top. George has to give a report on the subject of risk management for the Yankees.
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17 October 1996
The Package
Kramer tries to get a "refund" for...
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Kramer tries to get a "refund" for Jerry's broken stereo. Jerry is against the idea until he gets a mysterious package in the mail. Newman accuses Jerry of mail fraud when Uncle Leo signs for the package and an explosion is heard while he is talking to Jerry. George, meanwhile, gets involved with "Photo Store Shelia" when she accidentally slips an enticing photo in George's pictures. George decides to send one back, but the plan backfires. And Elaine gets a rash and is barred from every doctor in New York when she takes a peek at her medical chart.
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10 October 1996
The Little Kicks
Kramer's friend Brody forces Jerry to...
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Kramer's friend Brody forces Jerry to bootleg the movie "Death Blow". George follows Elaine to her office party and finds out that she has a "unique" dancing style. She starts to get a weird vibe from her subordinates and blames it all on George. George becomes the bad boy and wins the affection of Elaine's employee Anna. Jerry finds out that he is a gifted bootlegger and demands perfection while shooting "Cry, Cry, again". Kramer tells Elaine she can't dance. She then videotapes herself dancing over the bootleg of "Cry, Cry, Again". Elaine apologizes over the phone to George calling him a "good seed". He tries to win back Anna's affection by pretending to be a bootlegger. George is arrested and has to be picked up by his father. While picking up Anna from the police station, Elaine and Frank Costanza throw fists.
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03 October 1996
The Bizarro Jerry
Elaine meets her new boyfriend's...
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Elaine meets her new boyfriend's friends, and realizes the group of them are the exact opposites of Jerry and his friends. Jerry goes out with one of Elaine's friends who is extremely beautiful, but has off-putting "man hands". However, George uses a picture of her to get into the "forbidden city" where lots of beautiful women hang out. Kramer gets a new job when he uses a toilet in an office building.
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26 September 1996
The Soul Mate
George thinks the foundation lawyer...
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George thinks the foundation lawyer suspects he killed Susan, and leaves a tape-recorder in the meeting room after he leaves in order to find out the truth. Elaine is sick of her friends telling her she should have a baby, which leads to a chance meeting with a man who shares her view. Kramer falls for Jerry's girlfriend, and unwisely goes to Newman for advice.
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19 September 1996
The Foundation
After Susan dies, George decides to...
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After Susan dies, George decides to live the high life by going the bachelor pad route. But his fun quickly ends when Jerry quotes Star Trek II and the Ross's decide to create a foundation in Susan's memory. Jerry gets reacquainted with Mulva (see episode "The Junior Mint") and decides to do some research into which recent break-up story was more believable - his or George's. Elaine gets in trouble when J. Peterman flees to Burma and puts her in charge of the catalog. She doesn't think she is up to the task of running a large business until Kramer motivates her with some life lessons he learned in martial arts training. The stories do the trick until Elaine discovers who Kramer has really been fighting.
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16 May 1996
The Invitations
It's finally time for George and...
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It's finally time for George and Susan's wedding. George doesn't think he can go through with the wedding. But when Susan puts George in charge of the wedding invitations, George gets the cheapest ones in the lot, purposefully knowing that the envelopes are toxic. Unfortunately for Susan, the toxic envelopes have fatal consequences. Meanwhile, Jerry courts a woman named Janeanne Steinberg (Janeanne Garofalo) and holds up his end of George's "pact" (see episode "The Engagement").
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02 May 1996
The Bottle Deposit
In this two-part episode, Kramer and...
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In this two-part episode, Kramer and Newman scheme to make money on recycling by taking a mail truck to Michigan full of bottles and cans. But their road trip takes a turn for the worst (literally) when Jerry's car is stolen by a psychotic auto mechanic and they track Jerry's car out in the Midwest. Elaine outbids Sue Ellen Mischkie by double her budget for JFK's golf clubs and leaves them in Jerry's car. George gets a project from his boss Wilhelm but doesn't hear the other end of what he's supposed to do. Steinbrenner sees the results of George's project and has him committed to a mental hospital.
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25 April 1996
The Calzone
George gets Steinbrenner hooked on...
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George gets Steinbrenner hooked on eggplant calzones from a local Italian restaurant. But George gets banned from the restaurant when he's accused of stealing from the tip jar. He then asks Kramer to pick up the calzones, but Kramer gets kicked out when he tries to pay with pennies. George's last resort in getting the calzones is Newman who wants a cut of every delivery. Meanwhile, Kramer will only wear clothing if it's straight from the dryer.
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04 April 1996
The Wig Master
Susan's friends are in town for the...
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Susan's friends are in town for the Broadway production of Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Kramer gets to wear the coat and is mistaken for a pimp in public when he accuses a local parking lot of running a prostitution ring out of his car. Jerry buys a jacket and later returns it for spite. Elaine tries to buy a dress from the same guy Jerry gets the jacket from, but is stunned to learn that he's holding it until Elaine sleeps with him.
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07 March 1996
The Friars Club
Jerry has a hard time getting...
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Jerry has a hard time getting membership in the Friar's Club when the Flying Santos Brothers take his jacket during a show. Meanwhile, Elaine suspects that a new co-worker (Rob Schnieder) is faking a hearing disorder to get out of doing work.
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22 February 1996
The Doll
George freaks out when he discovers...
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George freaks out when he discovers that Susan has a doll that looks exactly like his mother. Jerry decides to use that as a bit on the Charles Grodin show when his prop gets destroyed in his carry-on luggage, but fellow comedian Sally Weaver screws up his bit by bringing him the wrong doll.
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15 February 1996
The Shower Head
Peterman wants Elaine to go to...
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Peterman wants Elaine to go to Africa, but when Elaine tests positive for Opium in her physical, that means no dice. George tries to convince his parents to move to Florida so that he finally gets his "buffer zone", but they have problems with Jerry's parents. Kramer and Newman scheme to buy black market shower heads when the building switches to low-flow ones.
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08 February 1996
The Cadillac
In this hour-long episode, Jerry...
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In this hour-long episode, Jerry performs the biggest show of his life in Atlantic City. He receives a rather generous pay check for the event, and decides to buy his father a Cadillac. Unfortunately, doing so puts Morty in the hot seat with the condo board of directors, where he serves as president. Morty is accused of stealing money from the board, and ultimately gets removed from his post as president and kicked out of the condo. Meanwhile, thanks to Elaine, George can score a date with "My Cousin Vinnie" star Marisa Tomei but Elaine objects because of George's engagement with Susan. Kramer turns the tables on the cable company when they want to disconnect his service.
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01 February 1996
The Seven
George meets Susan's cousins. The...
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George meets Susan's cousins. The wife is expecting a baby and they are having a hard time agreeing on the name. George reveals that he wants to name his kid Seven after Mickey Mantle. The cousins like the idea of naming their kid Seven, but nobody else does. Elaine buys an antique bicycle and hurts her neck in the process. Kramer fixes her neck and wants the bicycle in exchange for payment. Jerry's new girlfriend wears the same dress every single day.
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25 January 1996
The Caddy
Elaine's floozy former ex-roommate...
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Elaine's floozy former ex-roommate Sue Ellen Mischkie returns. George locks his keys in his car and leaves it in the Yankees parking lot. Elaine, out of spite, buys Sue Ellen a bra for a birthday gift as she has never worn one. George, having successfully convinced Wilhelm and Steinbrenner that he's putting in extra hours, decides to skip town with Susan after learning that her father rebuilt the cabin. So George asks Kramer and Jerry to go to Yankee Stadium and take the fliers off of his car. The car is really dirty, and Jerry and Kramer decide to go take it to the car wash. But along the way, they see Sue Ellen wearing the bra as a top. Jerry and Kramer get distracted and crash George's car. They return the damaged car back to Yankee Stadium. Steinbrenner, having seen the damage, and with George nowhere in sight, thinks George is dead. Kramer injures his arm in the accident, and his golf game is ruined. Elaine decides that Sue Ellen is a menace to society, and Kramer hires smooth-talking attorney Jackie Chiles to represent them. Unfortunately, the trial is jeopardized when Kramer asks Stan The Caddy for advice.
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14 December 1995
The Gum
Lloyd Braun comes back from the...
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Lloyd Braun comes back from the insane asylum. Kramer takes him under his wing and convinces Jerry to buy gum from him and wear glasses that don't belong to him to prove that Lloyd isn't crazy. George tries to prove to his old neighbor Deena that he isn't crazy after a cashier short changes him.
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07 December 1995
The Sponge
Elaine's birth control method of...
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Elaine's birth control method of choice is being discontinued and she goes all over New York to find the last remaining case. After she successfully finds it, she then begins the agonizing process of determining whether or not her dates are "sponge-worthy". Kramer participates in an AIDS walk but when he refuses to wear the ribbon, he suffers the consequences. Meanwhile, Jerry meets a woman and doesn't get her phone number. He then gets it from the list of participants in the AIDS walk. He tells George, who proceeds to tell Susan, who then starts a chain reaction of phone calls and ultimately winds up getting back to Jerry, who gets dumped as a result.
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16 November 1995
The Pool Guy
Jerry has a hard time telling the...
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Jerry has a hard time telling the pool guy at his new health club that there isn't room for a 5th member of the group. George's worlds collide when Elaine starts hanging out with Susan. Kramer discovers that his phone number is one digit off from that of a popular movie-finding service and offers help to those that mistakenly call his number.
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09 November 1995
The Secret Code
George refuses to give anyone his...
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George refuses to give anyone his secret code (BOSCO). Kramer buys a police scanner. Jerry does a series of ads for Leapin' Larry's Appliance Store. Elaine has dinner with J. Peterman but after she and Jerry bail on the dinner, George is stuck to dine with Peterman. George spills his secret code to Peterman's dying mother and gets in trouble for it.
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02 November 1995
The Soup Nazi
In this series-defining episode,...
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In this series-defining episode, everyone goes to this new soup kitchen because the soup is so great. Unfortunately, the owner is obsessed about his customer's ordering procedure. Jerry and his new girlfriend annoy everybody by using baby talk. George tries to do the same thing with Susan to show how annoying they are to everybody. Jerry and his girlfriend get rejected from the Soup Nazi's kitchen when they're caught kissing in line. Elaine buys an Armour and asks Kramer to watch it. While watching it, Kramer is robbed by some gay, trash-talking street toughs who want nothing more than the Armour. She then gets rejected from the soup kitchen when she offends the "Soup Nazi". Kramer, who befriends the Soup Nazi, gets a new Armour exactly like the one that was stolen from him. He then gives it to Elaine, who discovers the Soup Nazi's recipes inside. Jerry pleads with her not to do anything, but Elaine threatens to put the Soup Nazi out of business.
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19 October 1995
The Hot Tub
Wilhelm thinks George is cracking...
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Wilhelm thinks George is cracking under the pressure of working in the big leagues. So he has George entertain a group of visiting baseball officials from the Houston Astros, who are in New York to discuss inter-league play. George picks up a bad habit from them, who call everyone either a "bastard" or a "son of a bitch". Kramer buys a hot tub from his friend Lomez and installs it in his apartment. At the same time, Elaine is having a marathon runner from Trinidad And Tobago named Jean Paul Jean Paul stay with her as a house guest. Jean Paul was in the Olympics and became famous for having over slept and missed the entire race. She tells Jerry about it, and Jerry meets Jean Paul. Jean Paul reveals that there were separate knobs for the volume and the radio volume. Elaine also gets a severe case of writer's block when Peterman asks Elaine to come up with an idea for the Himalayan Walking Shoes. The previous night, Kramer runs the heat pump too hot and it blows out, reducing his body temperature in the process. The next day after George meets the baseball officials, he curses at them on the phone. Wilhelm once again thinks George is cracking under the pressure and reports it to Steinbrenner. Back at Elaine's, Jean Paul comments on what a "cute little bastard" her neighbor's baby is. Jean Paul gets kicked out of the building and has to go stay with Jerry. Jerry checks Jean Paul into a hotel and makes sure that the alarm clock situation is satisfactory. But after Jerry offends the wake-up guy, they bail on the hotel and go back to Jerry's apartment. Jerry tells Kramer to set his mental alarm for 6:30. Elaine, meanwhile, becomes disillusioned with Jerry about the whole Jean Paul ordeal and takes a walk, when she finally overcomes her catalog writer's block and comes up with a great write-up for the Himalayan Walking Shoes. But then during the night, Kramer's heat pump blows out all the fuses in the building. Jerry realizes that they had overslept and he and Jean Paul rush out to get to the race in time. They succeed and Jean Paul is leading the race when they get to the finish line. But Kramer is so cold from having the heat pump blown out that he is drinking boiling hot cups of coffee. Jean Paul grabs Kramer's drink instead of one of the other drinks and burns himself. George meets with Steinbrenner, who educates him on the nerve-calming capabilities of the hot tub.
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12 October 1995
The Wink
Jerry squirts grapefruit juice in...
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Jerry squirts grapefruit juice in George's eye and he develops and uncontrollable wink in his eye. This causes Kramer to sell Steinbrenner's birthday card and George's co-worker Morgan to get fired. Elaine is dating a wake up service guy named James she met on the phone. Jerry is dating Elaine's cousin Holly who loves to eat meat. Jerry tries to impress her by pretending to eat her mutton but actual stuffs the chewed up pieces into Grandma Mima's napkins and into his jacket. Elaine borrows Jerry's jacket and gets chased by dogs. She has to spend the night at her boyfriend's house and they sleep head to toe on his sofa bed. Kramer makes a deal with a terminally ill boy named Bobby that if Paul O'Neill hits two home runs he will give Kramer the birthday card back. James's dogs find the mutton and the used napkins are used as dog bandannas. Holly tries to cook Jerry pork chops and he stuffs it into his sofa and James's dogs find it as well.
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05 October 1995
The Maestro
Elaine's new boyfriend is a conductor...
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Elaine's new boyfriend is a conductor who insists that everyone calls him "Maestro". The Maestro gives Kramer an experimental balm which jeopardizes his lawsuit against the coffee company. After the Maestro tells Jerry that there aren't any houses to rent in Tuscany, Jerry becomes obsessed with finding out the truth. George learns that Frank has(unsuccessfully) converted his room into a billiard parlor. Frank learns that the Maestro may have connections to a long-lost Costanza. The guys also learn an interesting parlor trick from the Maestro.
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28 September 1995
The Postponement
Immediately after proposing, George...
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Immediately after proposing, George tries to postpone his marriage to Susan, and does so successfully. Elaine becomes increasingly jealous of George's engagement and has a discussion with her neighbor, a rabbi, who then proceeds to tell the whole neighborhood. Jerry learns about the dog-napping plot (see previous episode) and immediately fingers Newman as the culprit. Kramer sneaks a caf? latte in the movie theater and burns himself, and hires Jackie Chiles in an effort to sue the coffee shop.
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21 September 1995
The Engagement
Elaine has problem sleeping in her...
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Elaine has problem sleeping in her new apartment because of a dog that keeps barking. Meanwhile, George get back together with Susan Ross. He proposed to her and she said yes after a few hours of convincing. Kramer has a solution to help Elaine. Elaine likes his solution. Kramer and Newman then helps her to commit a dog-napping which s Kramer's idea.
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16 February 1995
The Kiss Hello
Kramer tries to create a Utopian...
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Kramer tries to create a Utopian society when he puts up pictures of all the residents of his and Jerry's building. Jerry doesn't mind until the women of the building want to be greeted with a kiss. After Jerry objects to kissing hello, he's vilified and nearly kicked out of the building. Jerry also has to settle some family issues when Nana remembers that Uncle Leo was supposed to give Morty some money 50 years ago and Uncle Leo puts Nana in a home to keep her quiet. Meanwhile, Elaine's friend who is a chiropractor skips out on George's appointment and goes skiing instead, and they have a hard time telling her about her dated hairdo.
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06 October 1994
The Pledge Drive
Jerry hosts the annual PBS pledge...
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Jerry hosts the annual PBS pledge drive and asks George to get some of the Yankee players to appear on the show. George comes through and gets Danny Tartabul to appear on the show. Kramer discovers that Jerry has been getting some birthday cards from his Nana with money inside. He cashes them in and suddenly Nana's bank account is overdrawn. Nana then goes missing. Jerry gets in trouble with Elaine's friends (one of whom has an unusually high voice) when Elaine starts a rumor that the wife was hitting on Jerry. George thinks everybody is giving him the finger and decides to follow one offender while driving Danny Tartabul to the pledge drive. Kramer volunteers to become a phone-answerer for PBS and Elaine discovers that Mr. Pitt eats his candy bars with a knife and fork, starting an unusual trend.
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19 May 1994
The Opposite
A simple pick up line in the coffee...
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A simple pick up line in the coffee shop proves Jerry's theory that every instinct George has is wrong. George decides to try the opposite, and that lands him an attractive girlfriend, a job offer with the New York Yankees, and an apartment that allows him to finally move out of his parent's house. Simultaneously, Elaine's mistake of stopping off for candy after learning her boyfriend was hospitalized causes her fortune to take a downturn. She gets kicked out of her apartment, breaks up with her boyfriend, and the candy causes a chain reaction that ultimately leads to the end of her longtime employer. Jerry sees the parallel between his two friends and realizes that he breaks even on just about everything. Kramer continues to take the book tour for his coffee table book, but Pendant Publishing's bankruptcy puts the book on the shelf.
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12 May 1994
The Hamptons
Jerry, Elaine, Kramer and George go...
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Jerry, Elaine, Kramer and George go the Hamptons with George's girlfriend Jane to see the newborn baby of some old friends. While there, Jerry, Elaine and Kramer see Jane topless while George gets caught with his pants down - and suffering from shrinkage.
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05 May 1994
The Fire
George dates a woman who has a son....
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George dates a woman who has a son. She invites him to her son's birthday party. While at the party, a fire breaks out in the kitchen. George screams "FIRE!!!" and knocks down the kids and the old lady as he cowardly tries to make his escape. The clown (not Bozo) puts out the fire with his big shoe. Meanwhile, over at Pendant Publishing, Elaine learns that she's up for a very nice promotion. But her main competition, Toby, is working with Kramer on his coffee table book. The three head over to the comedy club where Jerry is doing an important set where a writer from Entertainment Weekly will be present to do a review of the show for the magazine. Toby heckles Jerry. After Jerry gets the magazine and sees the mostly negative review of his show, he decides to do something unheard of - heckle the heckler. After he goes to Toby's office to heckle her, Toby gets so distraught that she leaves the building and a street sweeper severs her pinkie toe. Kramer gets the toe and hijacks a bus to take it to the hospital where it is reattached to Toby's foot. Mr. Lippman is shocked because of the incident and decides to promote Toby over Elaine for the senior editor's job. Toby's first order of business is to get Kramer's coffee table book in stores ASAP. Kramer loves this as he gets to do the book tour where his first stop is the Regis and Kathy Lee show. But after tripping over his chair and spilling coffee all over Kathy Lee, Lippman decides that it's best if Kramer not promote the book on any more daytime talk shows. The next day Jerry goes to the comedy club to plead with the Entertainment Weekly reviewer to get a second chance. He does and he runs into prop comic Ronnie K, who tells Jerry that what he did is unprecedented. Jerry agrees and says that it's finally time they drew a line in the sand. During the show, George stops by the comedy club and sees Ronnie K holding what is apparently Ronnie K holding a firearm. George thinks Ronnie K is going to rob the place, screams, and cowardly tries to make his escape by knocking everybody down. Jerry's set is interrupted and he's more than angry at George.
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28 April 1994
The Raincoats
In this two-part episode, Jerry's...
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In this two-part episode, Jerry's parents are visiting before leaving for France. Jerry has a hard time connecting with his new girlfriend Rachel because his parents are spending so much time in his apartment. George uses the trip to get out of volunteering for the Big Brother program, but is stunned to learn that his Little Brother is searching for his dad in France. Kramer and Morty team up to sell Morty's old belt-less trench coat "The Executive" to a vintage clothing store. Elaine's creepy new boyfriend is a "close talker" who enjoys spending time with Jerry's parents.
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17 March 1994
The Wife
While Jerry keeps up the pretense of...
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While Jerry keeps up the pretense of a pretend marriage with new girlfriend, Meryl, so she can share his dry cleaning discount, Elaine tries to decipher whether a guy at the gym likes her and simultaneously tries to keep him from reporting George to the manager for peeing in the shower; and Kramer prepares to meet his girlfriend, Anna's parents.
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24 February 1994
The Stand-In
Jerry feels under pressure when he...
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Jerry feels under pressure when he hears a friend is in the hospital and is asked to perform some stand up to cheer him up. Meanwhile, Kramer's friend, Mickey sets him up with a job as a stand in for a television show. Whilst George feels compelled to stay with his new girlfriend, Daphne, just because a mutual friend has told her not to get involved with him. Finally, Jerry sets up Elaine with someone who he feels would be perfect for her...
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03 February 1994
The Dinner Party
En route to a dinner party, Jerry and...
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En route to a dinner party, Jerry and Elaine stop off at a bakery and get held up when the bakery runs out of what they want to purchase. Meanwhile, George and Kramer, en route to said dinner party, stop off at a liquor store to buy a bottle of wine and have a hard time picking one out.
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06 January 1994
The Stall
At a movie theater's restroom,...
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At a movie theater's restroom, Elaine, realizing she doesn't have any toilet paper left, asks the woman in the next stall (Jami Gertz) if she has any toilet paper to spare, but the woman refuses, claiming that she "can't spare a square". Elaine pleads with the woman, but she leaves, ignoring Elaine. The woman returns to her seat, and is revealed as Jerry's girlfriend, Jane. Elaine is shown returning to her seat, with her new boyfriend Tony (played by Dan Cortese). The two women tell their dates about what had just happened. At Jerry's apartment, Kramer walks in, asking to use Jerry's phone. Jerry accuses Kramer of using it to call a telephone sex line. Elaine comes into the apartment, and describes to Jerry the incident that occurred at the movie theatre. Jerry realizes that the woman that Elaine was bickering for toilet paper was Jane. He tries to defend Jane, while not letting Elaine know that it was her. Meanwhile, George becomes enamored of Elaine's boyfriend, claiming that "He's such a cool guy". Jerry suspects that Elaine dates Tony only because he is attractive, and that Tony is a "male bimbo", or a "mimbo" for short. At the coffee shop, Tony, and George plan on going rock climbing together, which excites George, but Kramer is invited by Tony when he enters, and George starts fearing that Kramer will become better friends with Tony than him. Jerry and Kramer tease George about this later, claiming that George is in love with Tony, which George quickly denies. Jane calls Jerry's apartment, and Kramer answers the call without Jerry knowing. He talks to Jane, and after giving the phone to Jerry, he says that her voice sounded "flinty", and seems to try to remember where he's heard it before. Later, Elaine calls Jerry on his buzzer to tell him that she's coming up, while Jane is still there. Still trying to keep the two from conflicting, Jerry panics to disguise Jane's voice by saying that it smelt from the lunch they just had, and gave her many pieces of gum, muffling her voice to an unrecognizable level. On Tony, Kramer and George's rock climbing trip, Tony gives Kramer a rope to tie a knot to keep him from falling, but Kramer gives the rope to George, and then distracts him by asking him for food. Tony begins to climb again, but doesn't know that his harness isn't tied onto the wall, and he falls down the mountain. A few days later, Kramer and George tell Elaine what had happened. Upon hearing the news, Elaine quickly asks the two if there was any damage to his face, and is told that he hit his face off of a large rock. She rushes to Tony's house, to see that his face is completely bandaged. He tells her that he can't remember if the doctors said if there was any long-term damage to his face. At that time, George walks in to apologize to Tony about the trip, but Tony says that he doesn't want to see him anymore. While Jerry and Jane were at Jerry's apartment, Kramer walks in and is introduced to Jane for the first time. He starts to act strangely at the sound of her voice, and quickly refuses to split a taxi to go uptown. When she leaves, Kramer claims that her voice closely resembles that of "Erika", one of the girls on the phone sex line that he has been frequently calling, but Jerry doesn't believe him. At the coffee shop, Kramer is sitting at a table by himself, saying to Jerry that he made a date with Erika, to prove that it is, in fact, Jane. When Jane arrives, Jerry is shocked. She moves to Jerry's table instead of Kramer's, but Kramer still persists on calling her "Erika", as he and Jerry confront her, claiming that she "sells sexual pleasure over the phone". She dispels the claims by saying she sells paper goods. Elaine hears Jane's voice, and realizes that she was the woman that refused to give her any spare toilet paper. Jane then says that she needs to use the washroom, and Elaine races her to the door. There is then a camera angle of the washroom stalls very similar to the one used at the beginning of the episode. Jane's voice is heard asking the woman in the stall next to hers, who she doesn't know, if they have any toilet paper, but is revealed to be Elaine, who tells Jane that she "can't spare a square". Jane then exclaims that it's the same woman from the movie theater, and then Elaine is shown running out of her stall, carrying many rolls of toilet paper. After exiting the restroom, Jane tells Jerry to never call her again, and then she turns to Kramer and says for him not to call her either, but using a "flinty" voice, the same one she uses while in her Erika persona. Jerry and Kramer then look at each other with their mouths opened, visibly stunned.
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16 December 1993
The Conversion
George decides to convert to Latvian...
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George decides to convert to Latvian Orthodox to impress a girl, against his angry parent's objections. Meanwhile, Kramer converts a nun at the church, and Jerry takes a peek in his girlfriend's medicine cabinet and is stunned by what he finds.
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11 November 1993
The Barber
Jerry regrets giving his longtime...
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Jerry regrets giving his longtime barber the heave-ho after he gets a ridiculous-looking haircut. George gets a job interview but the boss leaves him with a very cryptic ending. Kramer begs Elaine to let him take part in her charity bachelor auction.
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04 November 1993
The Non-Fat Yogurt
Kramer invests in a new new non-fat...
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Kramer invests in a new new non-fat yogurt store, which becomes a hit in the city. Jerry and Elaine discover that they've been gaining weight and wonder if the yogurt really is non fat or not. Jerry tries to unravel this mystery while also dealing with a neighbor's kid who saw his act and the one rare instance where Jerry unleashes profanities on stage. Meanwhile, George runs into a former childhood acquaintance, Lloyd Braun, who is working on the mayoral campaign for incumbent Mayor Dinkins, but the campaign is quickly jeopardized when Elaine proposes a name tag system. The mayoral campaign is also jeopardized when Kramer dates one of the lab technicians and accidentally spills some of the yogurt into Giuliani's blood sample.
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28 October 1993
The Lip Reader
Jerry dates an attractive tennis...
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Jerry dates an attractive tennis lines woman only to discover that she is hearing-impaired, but able to read lips. George gets caught acting like a slob on live television at the tennis match and gets dumped, so he tries to use the lip-reader to spy on his girlfriend to see if she's telling the truth. Kramer tries to prove that he can read lips as well as Jerry's girlfriend, while Elaine accidentally offends a limo driver and tries to make up for it, but the plans backfire.
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14 October 1993
The Bris
Jerry and Elaine get asked to be the...
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Jerry and Elaine get asked to be the godparents for their friend's newborn baby. But unfortunately the position doesn't last very long when Elaine hires a drunken rabbi to perform the Bris. While at the hospital, Kramer thinks he found a pig-man while a mental patient jumps to his death and lands on George's car.
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07 October 1993
The Sniffing Accountant
Jerry, Kramer and Newman have reason...
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Jerry, Kramer and Newman have reason to suspect that their accountant, Barry Profit, is taking their money and using it to buy illegal narcotics. The three organize a stakeout to confirm their suspicions, while Elaine, who had a past relationship with Barry, denies it. George gets an interview at a company that manufactures women's underwear.
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30 September 1993
The Glasses
George loses his glasses at the...
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George loses his glasses at the health club, but his plans to get a new pair using Kramer's "discount" backfires. Meanwhile, Jerry buys a black-market air conditioner - the Commando 8, and Elaine gets bit by a dog at the optometrist's office.
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16 September 1993
The Mango
Jerry gets a shocking revelation when...
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Jerry gets a shocking revelation when Elaine reveals that she faked every orgasm while they were dating. Jerry then pleads with Elaine to get a second chance in bed. Meanwhile, Kramer turns George onto the erotic pleasures of fruit, specifically the mango.
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20 May 1993
The Pilot
In the fourth season finale, Jerry...
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In the fourth season finale, Jerry and George's pilot is finally a go. But before the taping, Elaine desperately tries to avoid NBC president Russell Dalrymple after an awkward date, while Kramer comes face to face with his TV show counterpart. Before the pilot airs, Crazy Joe Davola (see episode "The Opera") shows up to put a damper in the gang's plans. As the pilot is finally finished and ready for airtime, the executives at NBC aren't impressed with the result.
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15 April 1993
The Smelly Car
After dinner, Jerry gets his car back...
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After dinner, Jerry gets his car back from the valet. He and Elaine get in the car and realize that the valet has really bad B.O.. Jerry goes to great lengths to get the smell out of his car while Elaine goes to great lengths to get the smell out of her hair. Jerry soon realizes that the smell isn't just a mere odor, but an entity unto itself, and finally decides that he has to get rid of his car. Meanwhile, George gets reacquainted with Susan and discovers that he drove her to lesbianism, and Kramer dates Susan's girlfriend.
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17 March 1993
The Junior Mint
Elaine's ex-boyfriend is recovering...
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Elaine's ex-boyfriend is recovering in the hospital and has surgery. The gang goes to visit. Kramer gets the idea to paint his apartment to simulate the feel of a ski lodge. While at the hospital, Kramer's concern about the operation gets him and Jerry in to watch. But when Kramer sneaks in candy and forces it on Jerry, Jerry starts a chain reaction that causes the Junior Mints to land in Elaine's ex-boyfriend. Jerry thinks he may have killed the guy while George, who learns that he has recently come into some money, decides to invest in the ex-boyfriend's artwork.
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18 February 1993
The Old Man
Elaine gets the gang to volunteer at...
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Elaine gets the gang to volunteer at an old folks' home. She gets freaked out by hers, George gets fired by his guy, and Jerry loses his. Kramer and Newman scheme to sell records to a vintage music store and steal the records from Jerry's old guy.
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11 February 1993
The Outing
A woman is eavesdropping on the...
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A woman is eavesdropping on the conversation that Elaine has with Jerry and George at the coffee shop. Elaine decides to give the woman the impression that Jerry and George are a homosexual couple. Unfortunately that woman is a reporter from NYU who is doing an interview with Jerry for the school newspaper. She goes to Jerry's apartment and the suspicions are confirmed when Jerry and George get in a fight over a piece of fruit. She publishes an article using the angle that Jerry and George are a homosexual couple. Things get even worse when Jerry's birthday gifts don't help his case any when Kramer gives Jerry a faulty two-line phone and George gets Jerry tickets to the musical "Guys And Dolls". George doesn't help his case any when he uses the homosexual angle of the article to get out of a bad relationship and his mother freaks out and is admitted to the hospital. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
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27 January 1993
The Visa
George meets an attractive lawyer,...
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George meets an attractive lawyer, Cheryl, who is impressed by his sense of humor. George attempts to keep Elaine and Jerry from meeting Cheryl, believing that Jerry's sense of humor will eclipse him. Babu Bhatt, the former restaurant owner who Jerry helped drive out of business in "The Cafe" (Season 3), has trouble with the INS because Babu's visa renewal was accidentally delivered to Jerry.
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16 December 1992
The Pick
George lobbies to get Susan back,...
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George lobbies to get Susan back, only to regret the success of his efforts. Tia (the model Jerry met in "The Airport") dumps Jerry after she sees what appears to be Jerry picking his nose while driving. Elaine decides to send out Christmas cards with her picture on them, and accidentally chooses a revealing shot.
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25 November 1992
The Airport
Jerry and Elaine are returning from...
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Jerry and Elaine are returning from one of Jerry's gigs in Saint Louis. George is supposed to pick them up at Kennedy airport. The two are forced to switch to a different flight, one that arrives at Laguardia. Elaine suffers a series of degradations in the coach section of the airplane, while Jerry is pampered in first class, and enjoys the company of a sexy model. George and Kramer dash from airport to airport to meet the flight, which is eventually re-routed back to Kennedy.
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18 November 1992
The Contest
After George is caught masturbating...
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After George is caught masturbating by his mother, the four main characters devise a contest to see who can go the longest without pleasuring him/herself. Marla, Jerry's girlfriend, with whom he has yet to have sex with, learns of the contest and is disgusted.
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11 November 1992
The Virgin
After much procrastination, George...
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After much procrastination, George and Jerry strain to think of an idea for their TV series a few hours before a meeting with NBC executives. Jerry finds out a girl he once met is still a virgin, and later Elaine educates her about men after sex
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06 October 1992
The Bubble Boy
Jerry agrees to visit a boy who lives...
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Jerry agrees to visit a boy who lives in a plastic bubble on the way to Susan's parents' cabin. Jerry and Elaine, however, get lost; George and Susan visit the bubble boy instead, which later results in a fight after a misprint in Trivial Pursuit.
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06 May 1992
The Keys
Becoming annoyed at Kramer's...
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Becoming annoyed at Kramer's invasions of privacy, Jerry takes away his spare key. Kramer, shaken, decides to leave for California to pursue an acting career. As George, Elaine, and Jerry exchange spare key privileges, Jerry and George learn that Elaine is secretly writing a Murphy Brown script; Kramer, later, is hired to play Brown's secretary.
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22 April 1992
The Parking Space
Kramer tells Jerry about something...
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Kramer tells Jerry about something his friend Mike said about Jerry being "a phony." After borrowing Jerry's car, Elaine comes up with a wild story, because the car is now making a strange clanking noise. George gets into a confrontation with Mike about a parking space in front of Jerry's apartment. Everyone on the street debates parking etiquette.
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26 February 1992
The Limo
Jerry and George lie their way into a...
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Jerry and George lie their way into a limo heading for Madison Square Garden to, or so they think, a Knicks/Bulls basketball game. Along the way they pick up Elaine and Kramer but soon become fearful of two Neo-Nazis and discover the event they're really headed to.
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12 February 1992
The Boyfriend: Part 1
In the first hour-long episode, Jerry...
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In the first hour-long episode, Jerry hooks up with Keith Hernandez at the gym. He tries to meet with Keith only to be shunned because Keith is infatuated with Elaine. George tries to keep his unemployment money coming in when he tells the unemployment officer that he got a job with "Vandelay Industries", a company that manufactures latex. Kramer and Newman recall an incident in which Keith spit on them after a really bad Mets game. The details of the incident strangely mirror that of the JFK assassination.
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08 January 1992
The Subway
Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer all...
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Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer all embark on separate adventures within the New York subway system. Jerry has to go to Coney Island to get his car out of the impound lot. George is on his way to a job interview. Elaine is on her way to be the best man in a lesbian wedding. Kramer is on his way to court to sweet-talk his way out of a number of traffic violations. On the way to Coney Island, Jerry has a hard time finding anyone to go with him, but meets a rather overweight individual who strips down to his waist, and decides to go on the rides with Jerry. George meets an attractive woman who takes him back to his hotel, robs him blind, steals his clothes, and leaves him handcuffed to the bed. Elaine, on her way to the wedding, takes the one train that has the power go out, and curses into oblivion. Kramer, after leaving court, wanders into a betting shop and actually wins lots of money for once. He's on his way back from the betting shop and nearly gets robbed, only to be saved by an undercover cop. Back at the coffee shop, nobody wants to remember their journeys on the subway, except for Jerry and Kramer, and they're all stunned when Kramer actually pays for once.
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23 January 1991
The Ex-Girlfriend
Jerry begins seeing George's...
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Jerry begins seeing George's ex-girlfriend, Marlene, whom George finds altogether annoying. Jerry wants to break up with Marlene but can't because she has a "psychosexual hold" on him. Marlene then breaks up with Jerry after seeing his comedy act. George is angry over a huge chiropractor bill, which he argues that he shouldn't have to pay for.
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