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04 May 2010
Scream
After a good-looking cop, who Old...
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After a good-looking cop, who Old Christine assumes is a stripper, alerts her that there is a prowler in the neighborhood, she convinces Matthew to stay over. Meanwhile, New Christine goes into labor - on Old Christine's birthday.
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13 January 2010
A Whale of a Tale
When Christine decides to tell her...
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When Christine decides to tell her therapist she's in love with him, his response is not what she expected.
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16 December 2009
Its Beginning to Stink a Lot Like Christmas
Christine reluctantly attends her...
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Christine reluctantly attends her neighbor's holiday block party where she discovers a juicy secret.
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09 December 2009
Old Christine Meets Young Frankenstein
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25 November 2009
I Love Woo, I Hate Who
Lindsay leaves her husband and moves...
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Lindsay leaves her husband and moves in with Christine, her new divorcee role model, after Christine convinces her that single life is the way to go.
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18 November 2009
Love Means Never Having to Say Youre Crazy
Christine sets Richard up on a date...
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Christine sets Richard up on a date with a gorgeous, passionate woman who works out at her gym, while Richard's friend, Tom, continues trying to woo Christine.
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04 November 2009
The Curious Case of Britney B.
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18 February 2009
Honey, I Ran Over the Kid
Christine's over-protection reaches...
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Christine's over-protection reaches new heights as she smothers Ritchie and Richard puts his foot down -- resulting in a minor injury for their son while skateboarding. Determined to safeguard Ritchie, Christine makes things even worse, and an escalating competition to not be the worst parent ensues between her and Richard.
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11 February 2009
Reckless Abandonment
Barb and Matthew inform Christine...
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Barb and Matthew inform Christine they are both moving out on the day that Ritchie goes off to camp. Jokes about Christine needing a medic alert device to call for help seem prophetic later in the day when Christine gets stuck in the bathroom. Meanwhile Matthew's foray into living with Lucy hits a snag when some of her quirks about her dog come to light.
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21 January 2009
What Happens in Vegas Is Disgusting in Vegas
As Richard's and new Christine's...
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As Richard's and new Christine's wedding approaches, best man (maybe) Matthew arranges a stag party to be held at a laser tag storefront. And feeling bad that no one really bothered to give new Christine a bachelorette party Barb talks Christine into revisiting the scene of Christine's part, Las Vegas, where Chrstine is surprised that she isn't the prettiest young thing at the table any longer.
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14 January 2009
Notes on a 7th Grade Scandal
Christine, Richard and Matthew attend...
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Christine, Richard and Matthew attend an orientation for parents of children entering grade 7 at the school. While there Christine sees an old nemesis from her own high school days, a man who (as a boy) spread rumors about her when she refused to go out with him. Determined to right the wrong from 15 years ago (or is it 20? or 25? or more?) Christine - as usual - makes things worse and as a result rumors spread around her son's school about her. Meanwhile Barb and new Christine meet and Barb gives her a life lesson in standing up for one's self.
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17 December 2008
Happy Endings
After deciding not to renew their...
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After deciding not to renew their contract with the homophobic franchise owners, BarB and Christine must come up with another business to run in their building. They decide to open a spa, and business booms until Matthew lets them know that they are running a certain kind of spa. Going back to the idea of a women's gym for their livelihood, Christine uses some family jewels as investment money, but also needs to approach Marley and Lindsay for cash. They seem enthusiastic about it, but their giddiness manages to change the women's gym into a small dog clothing boutique, and they tell Christine they don't need her services to run it. So it's left to Barb to come up with some capital to reopen the gym.
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10 December 2008
Unidentified Funk
During a visit by a representative of...
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During a visit by a representative of their gym's franchise company, Christine and Barb get carried away explaining how their business caters only to women and mention that they are married (to each other). This prompts the woman from Cleveland to revoke their contract since their license agreement (which Christine never bothered to read, or even skim) bars them from any conduct that is contrary to "family values" or could damage the sacredness of marriage. When Barb and Christine point out the marriage was just to allow Barb to circumvent immigration laws they get the chance to re-sign their contract, although they now know the company they are part of supports bigotry.
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26 November 2008
Guess Who's Not Coming to Dinner?
Somehow everyone Christine knows...
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Somehow everyone Christine knows (except Lindsay and Marley) wind up going to Thanksgiving dinner at her parent's house. While Mom uses every subject brought up to mention Christine's status as a divorced woman, Matthew sees his teenage fantasy come true as Lucy sneaks into his room for sex. When Dad is a no show for dinner, Barb theorizes that he was killed by Christine and Matthew's mother, which neither of them can totally discount.
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19 November 2008
Rage Against the Christine
When Christine beats Patrick at...
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When Christine beats Patrick at tennis and lays it on pretty thick afterward, she becomes worried about his reaction to losing. Her plan to re-create his reaction during a night of games with the gang doesn't quite have the expected results. Meanwhile Matthew begins to see an eerie resemblance to his sister in the woman he is dating.
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12 November 2008
Self-Esteem Tempura
The gang attends Ritchie's school...
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The gang attends Ritchie's school play with trepidation -- worried how they were going to have to act afterward to convince him that he wasn't as terrible as they all expect. But not only is he not terrible, but a talent scout in the audience approaches Christine afterward with an offer for Ritchie to audition for a commercial. The problem: the time conflicts with Ritchie's test for his karate yellow-belt and he prefers that (which he is really terrible in) to acting.
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22 October 2008
Everyone Says I Love You Except Ritchie
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31 March 2008
One and a Half Men
After a visit to her doctor because...
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After a visit to her doctor because of hot flashes, Christine begins to think using a special cream that Barb has might help her handle the uncomfortable feelings. Meanwhile Richie is ready to attend a cotillion to learn etiquette, but a snub by the "meanie moms" throws Christine's hormones even further out of whack and she finally gets physical with them.
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24 March 2008
The Happy Couple
Barb and Matthew try to hide their...
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Barb and Matthew try to hide their sexual encounter from Christine, but Matthew confides in Richard, who tells new Christine, who finally tells old Christine. Christine herself then has erotic dreams about her brother Matthew. She therefore tries to use her position as Matthew's boss and landlord and as Barb's senior partner - to forbid them from seeing each other. Richard convinces her that it is really Barb's and Matthew's business, but by then they decide it was a one time thing anyway. Richard then has an erotic dream himself about Matthew.
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17 March 2008
Burning Down the House
When Barb and Christine find an old...
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When Barb and Christine find an old joint in the gym's lost and found box, they decide to make a night of it. When they go out to Christine's garage (because Richie breathes the air in the house), Barb remarks on all the paraphernalia from failed projects -- including a chicken coop Christine bought to raise her own eggs. Goaded on by this observation, she goes through with the plan to smoke the joint, which promptly self-destroys when lit. When Richard and his colleague Tom stop by, Christine coerces Tom into going to buy some more pot, and he points out that she actually never finished their date either.
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10 March 2008
House
Christine's resolution to stop being...
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Christine's resolution to stop being upset at the happiness of others is tested when her ex-husband Richard and new Christine buy a house -- the exact house that she dreamed of buying when she and Richard were first married. She seems to be succeeding until she spots an item in the house that brings back the old old Christine in force.
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10 March 2008
The New Adventures of Old Christine
After winning tickets to a classical...
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After winning tickets to a classical music series at the Hollywood Bowl, Christine takes her brother and his date and her ex-husband and his girlfriend to a concert. They make her feel that being alone is wrong, so Christine accepts a setup date by new Christine with a man in her office. But new Christine's blindness to age results in old Christine being paired with a much younger man, which she begins to think is maybe OK -- at first.
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18 February 2008
Popular
When Christine meets Mike (or is it...
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When Christine meets Mike (or is it Mark? She can't seem to remember most of the time) dropping off his son for the first time at school, she decides to be his mentor, and protect him from the meanie parents. But Mike befriends the other parents, and Christine decides she needs to change her attitude to be accepted into their inner circle.
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22 May 2006
Some of My Best Friends Are Portuguese
After her son picks Portugal as "his"...
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After her son picks Portugal as "his" country in a school display, Christine is surprised to meet a Portuguese woman at the school. She befriends her, partly because the woman took no offense at Christine's Portugal-bashing, and partly because the woman seemed to share Christine's opinion of some of the other mothers at the school.
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08 May 2006
No Fault Divorce
Matthew goes through old family photo...
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Matthew goes through old family photo albums and finds only two photos in which he appears. Matthew becomes fixated to the idea that he's been left out. Then Christine points out that it is someone else in the other photo. Richard becomes angry at Christine, because she is so controlling about everything. Christine just sees Richard as helpless, in need of her telling how things should be done. Then she accidentally meets Hillary, Richard's old marriage counsel. Hillary asks how Richard is doing and Christine manages to force Hillary to voice her opinion that the divorce was Christine's fault. Christine then becomes fixated to the idea that Hillary has mixed them in her mind with some other couple. Turns out that there really has been something quite different in Hillary's mind...
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01 May 2006
Ritchie Has Two Mommies
Christine is feeling anxious over the...
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Christine is feeling anxious over the parents' night at Richie's school. Richard then just happens to suggest that Richie finally meet the New Christine. Christine turns to Matthew for opinions because she thinks Richie is not ready. Matthew's ingenious solution is not to answer Richard's calls - therefore the meeting can be postponed indefinitely! So Christine has to confess to Richard that it is actually she who is not ready.
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17 April 2006
A Long Days Journey Into Stan
Having broken up with Burton,...
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Having broken up with Burton, Christine forgets that she has switched nights of care-taking of Richie with Richard since she was going to see a play with Burton. She wants to switch back to the original schedule, but Richard has already other plans for the next day. So Christine concedes and ends up spending the evening alone, since Matthew is with his new, clingy girlfriend Natalie (who is never seen again after this).
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27 March 2006
One Toe Over the Line, Sweet Jesus
Christine is going on her fifth date...
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Christine is going on her fifth date with Burton, who is just a little bit too handsome for Richard's comfort. So he proceeds to sabotage their private time. Later, he comes to his senses and invites Christine and Burton on a dinner with him and the New Christine to make amends. Somehow, things go a bit wrong...
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13 March 2006
Pilot
Christine Campbell is a recently...
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Christine Campbell is a recently divorced mother who runs her own gym, for other working woman who come to work out 30 minutes. She brings her boy Richard Jr. 'Richie' to his new, exclusive school on the first day of third grade, and finds it impossible to make him -or his in-living uncle Matthew- share in her excitement. She quickly finds the other mothers are wealthy and spoiled, looking down upon working class. Her ex Richard Sr. Campbell is there too, and not only suggests she brought the kid more for her own ego then for his future, but is seen on the parking lot, kissing his new girlfriend, also called Christine, who offers to be addressed as Chrissie but is called by the snooty mothers New Christine, making Ritchie's mother 'Old Christine' (hence the title). One consolation: the kid made new friends already.
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