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"Hung" - "Mister Drecker or Ease Up...
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"Hung" - "Mister Drecker or Ease Up on the Whup-Ass" - Oct. 16, 2011Ray is waiting for a client in a bar, a blond in a red mini-skirt. One walks in and it's a former student. Her name is Logan Lewis, she was in his World History class. He forgot her and she's bummed out. She's a cute, young blond who is in the midst of confessing a crush on him and saying it's cool because she's legal now and offers to buy him a drink. He tries to beg off the date because she knows who he is and she's a nice girl and she shouldn't be paying for it. He says she'll get her her money back. And then she's like "what are you talking about?" It turns out she's the wrong blond in a red mini-skirt and his actual date shows up. He gets that job done but is freaked that he basically blew his cover to her. He calls Tanya post-date and says they have to work out a better plan when vetting clients. Tanya is at the jail picking up Charlie. Ray wants to call her and explain. Tanya tells him not to. He also wants to weasel out of Lydia, the rough cops and robbers client. He says he'll figure it out himself. He gets to his car and Logan has left her number on his car.Charlie rolls out and happy to see her. Tanya says a pimp comes through for a pimp.Jason goes to visit Lenore, who is in bed with a cold compress on her head. She says she has three women lined up for him. He seems reluctant and than admits he heard from Sandee. She's pregnant and it's his. She's staying at her mother's house. Lenore wants to know where Sandee's mother's house is.Ray calls Logan. He's at home, she's jogging. He tells her he hopes she didn't get the wrong idea. She asks him to come over to her house to catch up.Jessica has started a job at Dr. Matt's office. He's the one who was marreid to the gynecologist Mindy who is now sleeping with Ronnie. He shows her around the office and says they all get along and to kill the other woman in the office with kindness by baking them chocolate stuff. He offers to take her out to lunch.They commiserate over how angry their soon to be ex-spouses are. Jessica lets slip about the hand-job. He wants to know a timeline. Clearly he's going to use it as ammunition in the divorce.Ray is eating in the park. He litters and then Lydia shows up to "arrest" him. She gets rough with him and he tries to introduce the concept of a safe word. She claims she doesn't need one and basically calls him a wussy for him asking her to ease up on the whup-ass.At Tanya's house she asks Charlie about his ankle monitoring bracelet. He says he can make it talk and starts futzing with it with a knife. She freaks on him and tells him as long as he's in her house he's playing by her rules. He gets turned on by her laying down the law and they start making out.Ray shows up, angry about Lydia and says it's time to bench her. Tanya says this isn't a good time to bench a paying client, especially since some of their clients have defected to Jason, wanting a younger man. They fight about her having sex with Jason and call each other sexist. He points out he has a date with a younger woman that night and he's still got it going on.At the doctor's office, Mindy and Dr. Matt are having a fight about the hand-job. She spies Jessica and realizes she told him. She is livid. She asks if he's tried to have sex with her yet. He does that, she says. Jesscia apologizes, says she never wanted to hurt anyone, she's just trying to do her job. Matt defends her. Mindy can't believe this and cruelly says that she and Matt used to mock her for being vapid and silly. Mindy stalks off and Jessica runs to the rest room. Dr. Matt follows her and tries to console her. His phone rings. He claims that it's the ER but that it can wait because she's more important.Ray goes to Logan's. They chit chat, she shows him an inspirational thing he wrote to her in her yearbook. He tries to explain how he works for a women's wellness center and she essentially busts him asking if he's a prostitute. She says she's a grown-up and he doesn't have to lie to her. She tries to make out with him. He freaks and takes off.Lenore pays a visit to Sandee. She is scary in her drag queen-y Lenore way. She busts Sandee on faking the pregnancy to get Jason back. She explains she doesn't want to take Jason from Sandee she just wants to turn him into a prostitute. She says it's a good business investment for him. Sandee ain't no idiot. She asks if she gives Lenore something she loves what will she get in return? Lenore asks what she wants. Sandee's price is pretty cheap it turns out; a flat-screen TV and a Blu-Ray player.Ray shows up at Jessica's and give his old Jeep to Damon and Darby, who are less than grateful at first. He then tries to give Jessica money as a loan but she says she doesn't need it, she got a job with Dr. Matt. He secretly seethes: another doctor.Ray is getting it on with a client who is thinking of defecting to Jason. They are having a very rational conversation as they do it. She points out Jason just has a lot of energy. Ray puts his back into it and she seems pleased.Tanya comes home and wonders where Charlie is. She finds him at the diner and she's pissed. She's got his ankle monitor bracelet, it will go off in ten minutes if he doesn't get in the car with her and get home. He is unmoved by her plea that she is on the hook for $40,000 bail and his responsibility and not to mess around. He tells her to cool it and put the bracelet away as a cop drives up to the diner. It's Lydia, she's actually a cop. Tanya is afraid she'll be seen.Ray shows up at Logan's house. She is having some kind of wild party. He says the thing he does, he's good at. He apologizes for giving her a D. She asks if he's come to make up for it. He says he has. She says she wants an A. They head to the car and get it on. When she unzips his pants and feels the package therein she is quite happy and says she always knew.
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"Hung" - "Take the Cake or Are You...
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"Hung" - "Take the Cake or Are You Packing?" - Oct. 9, 2011Ray is meeting a Jane in a hotel, one he's been with before. Unfortunately, when he gets there Lenore's boy Jason has swooped in and scooped her up. Ray is confused.He meets Tanya at a diner and discusses what happened. Tanya says he should've cut in, that women like to be fought over. She says he needs to listen to her, she's the captain of the ship. He scoffs at this, saying they're partners. She agrees that they're partners. She says she'll call the client Christina and find out what happened. She tells him to get some sleep since he has a 4 a.m. with Lydia.It turns out Lydia likes to pretend shes' a cop. She chases Ray through the park, tackles him, cuffs him and they do it. Twice.We cut to Ronnie, hitting a heavy bag and listening to hip-hop. Jess arrives to get a check. He claims he doesn't want to stop because he needs to keep his heart rate elevated. She turns off the music and says she thought they were going to be adults. He says if she wants to have her cake and eat it too, he won't be her baker. She is confused. He says Ray is the cake. Mindy, the female doctor who gave him a handjob while Jess was in the store, arrives with boxing gloves and then sees Jess and runs away. Jess says she is not seeing Ray and to forget about the check and storms off to her car. Ronnie runs after her contrite. Mindy apologizes that this is awkward. Jess says it's not awkward. What was awkward was Mindy giving her husband a handjob and she drives off. Mindy, who also has boxing gloves, throws one at Ronnie.Lenore visits Jason in the restaurant kitchen with, ew, her dog in tow. She stuffs 200 bucks in his pocket as he washes dishes and says he has another client. He can't believe women will pay him to do this. He's having trouble working out his schedule with Lenore though and finally admits that he sorta has a fiancee.Christina visits Tanya at the Wellness Center and says she loved him Jason and explains that he told her that Tanya sent him because she thought she'd like him better than Richard. She also mentioned she got Tanya's email this morning and though she can't go again with Jason tonight she cold do the next night.Tanya goes to Ray-- who is still in bed and all banged up from his morning with Lydia-- and explains Lenore hacked into her email. She says they need to take care of this and likens it to a broken window in a house, which, unfixed leads to grafitti and lower property values or something. She says she is going to ambush Jason. Ray says he should talk to him man to man. She says it's her job, as pimp. He says she gets hysterical in these situations and tells her she should be his back up. He gets a panicked call from Jess.Lenore goes to the bakery where Jason's fiancee works and essentially tells him she had sex with Jason. (She does this by way of a labored bit where she pretends to order a cake, have it inscribed "I (had sex) with your boyfriend and tells Sandee to send it to her own address.) Sandee is confused at first. Gets it. Starts crying and goes to call Jason but Lenore says she'd be better off ignoring him for a week and then she'll "get more" out of him.It turns out Jess's mom is in hospital. She says it's not a heart attack, it's chicken wings. Ray, Darby, and Damon are there. Ray wants to loan an obviously distressed Jess some money. She says she's geting a job soon. The doctor comes out to reassure her that it was, in fact,only indigestion. He points out that he is Mindy's ex-husband and then essentially hits on Jess. Ray is perturbed and Jess is confused but you can definitely see her considering it.Tanya visits Charlie in prison. He flatters her and essentially asks her to bail him out. She says he was mean to her last time and she'll think about it.Tanya goes to the club to ambush Jason. Even as she tries to put on her hardest pimp talk and threaten him away from her clients, he flatters her into having sex with him in the bathroom. Ray enters later and hears the sex going on in the stall and recognizes Tanya's orgasm. He busts her outside. She says she took care of it. He is mad she went behind his back and that she had sex with him. She says she made a calculated business decision. Ray sees Jason come out and chases him down. In the parking lot he tells him to stay away from his clients. Jason says he didn't know and that Christina didn't seem to miss him that much. Jason says he's trying to make the women happy and he made Ray's pimp happy. They shove one another. Jason runs and gets away because Ray is old and hurt.In the pouring rain he walks to his car. Tanya asks if he's okay. Ray says he can't believe she slept with him, especially since he's 12. She says he's at least 20-something. She wonders why he cares so much. He says because they're a team. She says right, a team, she's not his back-up. She says he underestimates how valuable she is. He grimaces. She says he should get his bruises checked out. He wonders what they'll do. She says she doesn't know. He tells her to not give it up to Lenore and go get the client back.Tanya rushes off to her orgasmic living class. She starts going over types of orgasms on the billboard and spots Lenore in the class. She claims she wants to enroll. She's very taunting. She says she's had a tough couple of months with the betrayal of a friend and needs Tanya's help.Tanya brings her into office. They fight. Lenore says the Wellness Center was her idea and that Tanya stole her clients. She wants her clients, 50 percent of the profits, and an apology. Tanya refuse and throws Lenore's cellphone-- which has all of Tanya's contacts in it, which Lenore hacked-- into the toilet. They fight and pull hair. Lenore slaps her, says she'll never make it and calls her a loser. Tanya calls Lenore a broken window andsprays hairspray in her face. She calmly goes back to her class and says Lenore won't be joining them and begins to talk about orgasms again.Ray and Jason both show up to meet with Christina. Jason has a cupcake. Ray has a full-blown cake. Jason wonders if Ray thinks that's enough, a bigger cake? He asks why he doesn't just go home since he knows it's going to be Jason who wins? Ray says alright, conceding defeat and hands Jason his bigger cake. When both of Jason's hands are occupied, he grabs one of his wrists and handcuffs it to the handrail in the elevator. Jason is pissed. Ray throws the key onto the floor of the elevator and wishes Jason luck. He walks off whistling and smiling.
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Eyeing a possible second chance with...
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Eyeing a possible second chance with Jessica, Ray contemplates a break from the business - but Lenore may not be willing to give him up without a fight. Emotionally frayed after separate encounters with Damon and Vera-Joan, Tanya visits Frances and Ray to try to make amends. After getting a lift from Mindy, Ronnie returns home to find that Jessica has made a decision that could impact both of their futures.
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A bad day at school gets worse when...
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A bad day at school gets worse when Mike accuses Ray of betrayal. Ronnie vents his frustrations with Jessica at a dermatology banquet, sending his wife running for the hills. Empowered by confession, Tanya lashes out a Ray, Lenore and Horny Patty.
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With his teamʼs future wracked by...
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With his teamʼs future wracked by vandals, Ray agrees to participate in a student-alumni baseball game, but an unexpected warm-up session with Claire threatens to put him on the disabled list. Fed up with Tanyaʼs greed and confused by Mikeʼs request for a donation, Frances doubts their affair. Jessicaʼs old itch resurfaces, prompting Ronnie to deliver a sideline ultimatum to her ex.
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"Hung" - "The Middle East is...
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"Hung" - "The Middle East is Complicated" - August 15, 2010Ray and Lenore are post-coital. He's trying to get her to leave but she's not going anywhere until she gets coffee. Lenore says she has a new client for them, a steady client. She turns her nose up at his instant coffee. she tries to have "the talk" about them being friends with benefits. Ray says they shouldn't let it happen too often. Lenore wants to tell Tanya. Ray doesn't want to. Lenore thinks they're being dishonest.Ray calls Tanya and apologizes for the Mike and Francis thing - making her return the money- in a message and says they should talk.Tanya tells Charlie about spending all the money, and Charlie tells her to keep on collecting. Tanya says Mike doesn't even know he's a prostitute. Charlie asks if she's a moral pimp. She says she's just a pimp with feelings and that when he finds out she spent all the Francis money Ray will kill her. Charlie says to buy her a nice gift. Tanya is all frazzled. Charlie offers to have sex with her to calm her nerves.Jessica's mom starts harassing her about how Jessica is now ready to have a baby since Ronnie killed the beaver. She asks where the baby will sleep. Jessica starts to break out in hives, literally.Mike and Ray are going through alumni names for the alumni game. Mike is in a great mood, he spent the night with Francis and he says she's got the next weekend planned too. He's worried he's going to mess it up. Ray says he won't if he keeps doing what he's doing. He wonders what Mike is doing exactly. Mike doesn't know what he's doing, he's just doing what Francis wants him to do: opening doors, pulling out chairs, giving her candy and flowers. Being an old-fashioned kinda guy.Ray ponders this old-fashioned advice and tries to dole it out with his next client, being more polite and gentlemanly. He screws this up by insulting her by saying his neighbor is from the Middle East when she's from Israel, he thinks. They start to eat. She starts to talk about hummus and how it's not from Israel and it's just another thing they've stolen from the Palestinians.Tanya is in her car practicing what she's going to say to Francis, about how she needs to not spill the beans about Mike being a ho. She knocks on the door and Mike answers. She freaks and runs.Jessica goes to the doctor to get her rash checked. She wonders if it's new detergent or perfume. He says it's more likely stress. She says her life is stress-free. He asks if she's had a rash like this before. She says she did, a few years back. She says she doesn't remember the diagnosis or the doctor -- which was of course Ronnie- but she does remember the ointment that cleared it up.Tanya buys Ray a lawnmower. They say from now on when they get a client,Ray's going to keep her and not screw it up. They both apologize. He says the bright side is Mike's wild about Francis. Tanya goes to Ray's bathroom to splash water on her face and say to herself, "you're not a bad person" for not telling Ray and Mike the truth. She notices her old Lanvin sweater that Lenore took on a hook in the bathroom. Tanya asks him about it. Ray says Lenore left it and it's no big deal. Tanya says it's a big deal to her and takes off. She runs to the pool hall and starts to make out with Charlie.Lenore calls and Ray tells her she's complicating his life in a way that he doesn't need and he lays down the law that they're not sleeping together anymore and Tanya gets a commission now. Ray's neighbor wife comes over and is on a tear. She drinks one of his beers and lets Ray know that her husband has sex with prostitutes and pays them on their paypal accounts. She is livid that he would go outside their bed when he has such a hot mama at home. He blandly tries to defend prostitution. She looks in his fridge and is mad that he has Arab hummus. She is freaked out and screams at him about being uneducated about the Middle East and if he's too dumb to know about hummus she wants nothing to do with him.Post-coital, Tanya apologizes to Charlie for being too loud. He tells her not to apologize. He says the sex was beautiful. He teases her about being a "cultural tourist" and having sex with him as a check on her bucket list. She says that isn't it, he's made a difference in her life and she's mad at the world that's screwing her. For instance Mike was at Francis' house even though it's not the weekend and she didn't pay Tanya for that. Charlie says she gets screwed because she half-asses things. Tanya says she goes all out. He tells her if they were his ho and client he would crack Mike's nose and hit Francis with a belt to teach them a lesson. She says she can't do that. He says she needs to do what's right for her.Lenore and Jessica show up to Francis' for a book meeting. Lenore checks back in about Francis' decision on Richard. Francis says she's content with the man she's got thanks to Tanya. Lenore is upset. They start to talk about Cormac McCarthy's "The Road" and how they all thought it was upsetting, and didn't like the cannibalism. Lenore goes on and on about what she would do when the apocalypse comes in graphic detail, saying she would resort to cannibalism and wearing the skulls of those she killed and ate as a message to others to not take what's hers.Ray and his new Middle Eastern client Samara are getting it on again. She asks about his neighbor again. He tries to deflect as he kisses on her. She says he can't have sex with his neighbor and then have sex with her and stay neutral. She asks whose hummus does he like the most. She asks him to pick a side.Ray watches his TV in his tent. He hears noises outside. It's his neighbor Howard crying on a bench. Ray offers him a beer. Howard says his wife thinks he has sex with prostitutes. Ray asks if he does. He admits it and says he knows he's a loser but that these girls, as pros, say all the right things, which is pretty neat. Does he work out? Does he play pro football? They say he's big and strong and handsome. He loves it, even though he knows they're lying, he feels like they're on his side. He says he likes his wife better than the hookers but he likes himself better when he's with the hookers.Francis walks down the stairs in her nightgown and watches a naked Mike play her piano, really well. She puts her head on his shoulder.Ray lays on the floor with Liz, the previous woman who just didn't enjoy sex and starts telling her how pretty she is and how beautiful her smile is. She laughs and says he's sweet. She says her fiancee thinks she likes sex. Ray says he's on Liz's side.
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Jessica turns to Ray for help with a...
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Jessica turns to Ray for help with a rodent problem that may be imaginary. Rebuffed by Ray in her attempts to add Mike to her stable, Tanya gets guilt-management advice from Charlie, then goes to extremes to prove her success. Ray has difficulty thawing a client who is cold as ice.
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Tanya lands Ray the "white whale" of...
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Tanya lands Ray the "white whale" of clients, but an emergency involving Damon, which began with his debut at a poetry slam, threatens to derail the date. With Mike at the end of his teaching rope, Ray decides to promote him to co-manager of the baseball team. Jessica is peeved with Ronnie for being overly suspicious.
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Ray gives Lenore an ultimatum, and...
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Ray gives Lenore an ultimatum, and probes Tanya about the possibility of cutting ties with her fellow pimp. Disturbed that Damon has defiled the school baseball diamond, Ray considers Tanya's suggestion that his son find a new hobby to shake him out of his recent doldrums. Ignoring Ray's warning, Lenore offers Jessica advice in dealing with Ronnie. On his way to meet a new client, Ray has to think on his feet when he runs into Mike in a hotel lobby.
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Spurred by criticism from Damon and...
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Spurred by criticism from Damon and Darby, Ray tries to prove he's not an insensitive ex-jock. Seething from the demands of her new boss at work, Tanya turns to Charlie for advice on how to deal with an even more irritable problem: Lenore. Meanwhile, Jessica feels the pinch of the economic downturn, but can't stomach Ronnie's remedy.
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Ray irritates Lenore and risks losing...
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Ray irritates Lenore and risks losing a client by giving Claire marriage advice. Tanya tries to prove she can land a big fish for Ray after being humiliated by Lenore during a meeting with a 60-year-old widow. Ray uses his sex earnings to pay for the school baseball team's transportation to away games, raising Mike's suspicions. Jessica embarrasses Darby by crashing an eat-in protest outside a fitness gym. At the end of a long day, Ray reconsiders accepting a gift delivered by his neighbor's wife, Yael.
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Alarmed by a bad omen, Tanya ends up...
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Alarmed by a bad omen, Tanya ends up battling Lenore for control of Ray, who is worried about his future after hearing rumors from Mike about layoffs at school. As Ronnie flirts with an old flame at work, an unfulfilled Jessica decides her battery needs a jump start. Ray finds a sweet surprise inside his home, courtesy of his local bees and his frisky neighbor. With a new relationship losing steam, Damon turns to Darby for advice and comfort.
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Tanya is dismayed when a...
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Tanya is dismayed when a ?“satisfied?” customer says she won??t be using Ray??s services again. Later, Tanya pitches Happiness Consultants to other women in her office, with mixed results. Damon goes to after-school detention to hang out with his androgynous friend Powell, leaving Ray baffled. Lenore gives Ray lessons in branding and, after a chance encounter at a department store, offers Jessica lifestyle advice.
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After standing him up, Jemma tells...
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After standing him up, Jemma tells Ray that maybe they should take a break, and Ray seeks out Tanya for advice on women. Meanwhile, Tanya finds her new boyfriend Pierce to be a man of mystery. Attending a family barbeque at Jessica and Ronnie??s, Ray finds himself in a (predictably) uncomfortable place. After seeing her classified ad, Lenore gives Tanya some unwanted feedback on her marketing strategy, which leads Tanya to take a more personal approach.
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West Lakefield students choose...
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West Lakefield students choose ?“Coach Ray?” to be the recipient of their fall fundraising efforts, but Ray sees their pickle-jar donation as an embarrassing metaphor for his downward spiral. All is not lost, however ?– Tanya has a couple of leads that could jumpstart Ray?’s gigolo career. But is Ray ready, willing and able enough to follow through? Meanwhile, Damon is shattered when he rushes to his sister?’s defense during drive-in family night, only to learn that Darby doesn?’t want his help.
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Ray?’s fortunes, at low ebb after the...
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Ray?’s fortunes, at low ebb after the Lenore debacle, sink further when his nosy neighbor Howard Koontz accuses him of public indecency. Fed up with Jessica?’s meddling, Damon and Darby yearn to go back to their dad, but progress on the home repair front remains stalled. Likewise, Ray and Tanya?’s frayed partnership seems to be dead in the water ?– until a last-minute proposal resurrects their dreams.
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Marketing Ray as a high-end...
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Marketing Ray as a high-end ?“happiness consultant,?” Tanya tracks down former law-firm colleague Lenore, who agrees to take Ray for a test ride in exchange for the names and numbers of wealthy women. Jessica?’s obsessive behavior grates on her kids, who push Ray to fix his fire-damaged house. A contractor promises Ray a ?“wolf pack?” discount for repairs, but money mismanagement has Ray strapped for cash. That could change after Ray?’s session with Lenore ?– or so he and Tanya hope.
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