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06 May 2010
Just Another Manic Kahn-Day
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06 May 2010
When Joseph Met Lori and Made Out with Her in the Janitor's Closet
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05 May 2010
Bill Gathers Moss
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03 May 2010
The Honeymooners
Hank's mother Matilda dumps Gary for...
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Hank's mother Matilda dumps Gary for a new man named Chuck that she has known for only 4 weeks. Chuck and Matilda decide to get married so Hank and the family travel to Phoenix for the wedding. Hank is suspicious of Chuck at first and does not approve of his mother marrying a man she just met. After the wedding, Matilda sells her condominium and she and Chuck buy an RV. The coupe travel to Texas to visit Hank's family. Chuck and Matilda end up fighting a lot about the RV. Chuck decides buying it was a mistake, and Hank agrees with him. They plot to sell the RV and find a retirement condo for the couple. When Matilda finds out, she gets angry and drives off in the RV to a wildflower preserve. Hank and Chuck take off to save her, but she ends up rescuing them. Matilda and Chuck reconcile and Hank has to accept his mother's desire for adventure.
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13 September 2009
To Sirloin with Love
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13 September 2009
The Boy Cant Help It
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10 May 2009
Manger Baby Einstein
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03 May 2009
Bad News Bill
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26 April 2009
Serves Me Right for Giving General George S. Patton the Bathroom Key
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19 April 2009
Born Again on the Fourth of July
As the Fourth of July nears, Bobby...
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As the Fourth of July nears, Bobby becomes an overzealous born again Christian after attending Lucky's evangelical church, and destroys Hank's giant Uncle Sam decoration, believing it to be a graven image. Thinking the residents of a rival street are responsible, Hank and the guys declare an all-out neighborhood vs. neighborhood war.
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22 March 2009
Nancy Does Dallas
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15 March 2009
Uncool Customer
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08 March 2009
Bwah My Nose
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01 March 2009
Master of Puppets
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15 February 2009
What Happens at the National Propane Gas Convention in Memphis Stays at the National Propane Gas Convention in Memphis
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08 February 2009
Lucky See, Monkey Do
When Peggy plans a baby shower for...
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When Peggy plans a baby shower for Luanne, Lucky invites his sister Myrna and her children to the party. Myrna has conflicting parenting information to give Luanne, and is described by Peggy as a "modern mother" who has conflicting parenting information to give Luanne.
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30 November 2008
Straight as an Arrow
Hank butts heads with Wesley Cherish,...
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Hank butts heads with Wesley Cherish, a newcomer to Arlen, after the two jointly start a Scouting-type group called the Order of the Arrow. Hank believes that Wesley is being overly cautious with several of the group's activities and is upset when Bobby is deemed a bad influence for allowing his sons to play a violent video game. But Hank finds out that Wesley has a good reason for his conservative, cautious ways with his sons after the boys run off at a camp-in during Hank's shift ... and it comes at the expense of a promising friendship.
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16 November 2008
A Bill Full of Dollars
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09 November 2008
No Bobby Left Behind
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02 November 2008
Lost in MySpace
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19 October 2008
Square-Footed Monster
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05 October 2008
Earthy Girls are Easy
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28 September 2008
Dia-BILL-ic Shock
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18 May 2008
Life: A Loser's Manual
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11 May 2008
It Came from the Garage
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04 May 2008
Cops and Robert
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27 April 2008
Strangeness on a Train
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13 April 2008
The Courtship of Joseph's Father
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06 April 2008
Six Characters in Search of a House
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30 March 2008
Pour Some Sugar on Kahn
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16 March 2008
Behind Closed Doors
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09 March 2008
Lady and Gentrification
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17 February 2008
Untitled Blake McCormick Project
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10 February 2008
Trans-Fascism
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06 January 2008
Doggone Crazy
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16 December 2007
Dream Weaver
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09 December 2007
The Minh Who Knew Too Much
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25 November 2007
Tears of an Inflatable Clown
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18 November 2007
Raise the Steaks
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11 November 2007
Death Picks Cotton
Bobby's parents have planned a night...
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Bobby's parents have planned a night out, but the babysitter plans fall through. Cotton volunteers to watch Bobby. A nervous Peggy leaves Cotton with instructions to watch Bobby and eat lasagna for dinner. Luanne, her boyfriend, Hank, and Peggy all go to a Japanese restaurant. Cotton drives Bobby to the restaurant, where he confronts a chef who resembles an old WWII enemy. Cotton's antics lead to a fall, and the injured Cotton is admitted to a VA hospital. As Cotton lies dying, Hank must come to terms with Cotton's impending death.
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14 October 2007
Four Wave Intersection
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07 October 2007
The Powder Puff Boys
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30 September 2007
Bobby Rae
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23 September 2007
Suite Smells of Excess
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20 May 2007
Lucky's Wedding Suit
In order to pay for the big expensive...
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In order to pay for the big expensive wedding of her dreams, Luanne's husband-to-be Lucky sues Dale in hopes of getting a big cash settlement, like what he's received in past lawsuits, when he accidentally injures himself shortly after going to work for Dale's extermination service "Dale's Dead Bug".
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14 May 2006
Edu-macating Lucky
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30 April 2006
The Texas Panhandler
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23 April 2006
24 Hour Propane People
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09 April 2006
Church Hopping
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02 April 2006
Hank Fixes Everything
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26 March 2006
The Year of Washing Dangerously
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19 March 2006
Business Is Picking Up
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29 January 2006
You Gotta Believe (In Moderation)
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11 November 2005
Orange You Sad I Did Say Banana?
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04 December 2005
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Clown
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20 November 2005
Harlottown
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06 November 2005
Bill's House
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25 September 2005
Bystand Me
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18 September 2005
Hank's on Board
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15 May 2005
It Ain't Over 'Til the Fat Neighbor Sings
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13 February 2005
The Petriot Act
Hank wants to help out the boys...
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Hank wants to help out the boys fighting overseas by looking after one of their pets. Bill is currently looking after a GI's dog, and Hank wants to do the same. Unfortunately, instead of a dog, he gets a untamed, fierce cat named Duke, with large claws, large teeth, and large vet bills.
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18 April 2004
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Alamo
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25 January 2004
Ceci N'est Pas Une King of the Hill
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14 December 2003
Livin' on Reds, Vitamin C and Propane
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13 April 2003
I Never Promised You an Organic Garden
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17 November 2002
Bad Girls, Bad Girls Whatcha Gonna Do
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21 April 2002
Fun with Jane and Jane
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17 March 2002
Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret Hill
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24 February 2002
The Bluegrass Is Always Greener
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17 February 2002
Torch Song Hillogy
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10 February 2002
I'm with Cupid
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06 January 2002
Father of the Bribe
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16 December 2001
The Father, the Son and J.C.
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12 December 2001
Lupe's Revenge
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09 December 2001
Soldier of Misfortune
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11 November 2001
Bobby Goes Nuts
After being beat up by some bullies...
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After being beat up by some bullies Hank advises Bobby to attend a boxing course at the YMCA. Once there Bobby discovers that they are full, so instead joins a womens self defense course where he is taught to kick people in the groin as a form of self defense
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13 May 2001
Kidney Boy and Hamster Girl: A Love Story
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06 May 2001
Hank's Back Story
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22 April 2001
The Trouble with Gribbles
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08 April 2001
It's Not Easy Being Green
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01 April 2001
Hank's Choice
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04 March 2001
Luanne Virgin 2.0
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04 March 2001
The Exterminator
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25 February 2001
Ho, Yeah!
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18 February 2001
Now Who's the Dummy?
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11 February 2001
Hank and the Great Glass Elevator
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04 February 2001
Yankee Hankee
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21 January 2001
Chasing Bobby
Hank's classic pick-up truck has just...
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Hank's classic pick-up truck has just about seen its days, but Hank is very emotionally attached to his automobile and, that night when going to see an effeminate movie, Hank sheds tears, because it reminded him of his ongoing love for his truck. The mechanics say it's hopeless to fix, but Hank won't give up. That's when Bobby tells Hank about a place called Pick-Up Truck Heaven. Hank, thinking it's another mechanic, agrees to go along, until he learns it's really an auto dealership. En route home, the truck breaks down on railroad tracks. As if that weren't bad enough, a train was coming. The truck refused to start up again and the train was getting closer. Will Hank go down with his beloved machine or face up to reality and move on?
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17 December 2000
'Twas the Nut Before Christmas
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10 December 2000
What Makes Bobby Run?
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03 December 2000
When Cotton Comes Marching Home
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26 November 2000
Peggy Makes the Big Leagues
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19 November 2000
Spin the Choice
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12 November 2000
I Don't Want to Wait for Our Lives to Be Over, I Want to Know Right Now, Will It Be... Sorry. Do Do Doo Do Do, Do Do Doo Do Do, Do Do Doo Do Do, Doo...
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05 November 2000
The Buck Stops Here
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01 October 2000
The Perils of Polling
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21 May 2000
Peggy's Fan Fair
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14 May 2000
Transnational Amusements Presents: Peggy's Magic Sex Feet
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07 May 2000
Flush with Power
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16 April 2000
Meet the Propaniacs
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09 April 2000
Hank's Bad Hair Day
After Hank's usual barber loses his...
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After Hank's usual barber loses his mind he dyes Hank's hair blonde, so Bill convinces Hank to let him cut his hair and re-dye his hair it's natural color. Not long after that Hank receives a letter from the government stating that the haircut will cost him $900.00.
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19 March 2000
Won't You Pimai Neighbor?
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12 March 2000
Bill of Sales
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27 February 2000
Movin' on Up
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20 February 2000
Naked Ambition
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13 February 2000
High Anxiety: Part 2
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06 February 2000
Hanky Panky: Part 1
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16 January 2000
Rodeo Days
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09 January 2000
Old Glory
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19 December 1999
Hillennium
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12 December 1999
To Kill a Ladybird
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28 November 1999
Not in My Back Hoe
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21 November 1999
Happy Hank's Giving
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14 November 1999
A Beer Can Named Desire
Hank is given the chance to win a...
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Hank is given the chance to win a million dollars after winning an Alamo Beer contest. All he must to do is throw a football threw a one-foot hole into a Giant Alamo beer can. Or he can let former Cowboy "Dandy" Don Meredith make throw for a smaller amount of money; Bill visits his family in Louisiana.
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07 November 1999
Aisle 8A
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31 October 1999
Little Horrors of Shop
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24 October 1999
Bills Are Made to Be Broken
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03 October 1999
Cotton's Plot
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26 September 1999
Peggy Hill: The Decline and Fall
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18 May 1999
As Old as the Hills
Feeling depressed and inadequate due...
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Feeling depressed and inadequate due to their routine lives and the impending birth of Hank's brother, Hank & Peggy decide to celebrate their 20th anniversary by going sky diving. But things go awry when Peggy's parachute fails to open and Didi goes into labor with no one to drive her to the hospital but Bobby.
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11 May 1999
Take Me Out of the Ball Game
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04 May 1999
Wings of the Dope
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27 April 1999
Death and Texas
Hank is outraged when Peggy agrees to...
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Hank is outraged when Peggy agrees to meet an inmate on Death Row who claims to be one of her former pupils. He's no happier when Peggy discovers the inmate is an impostor, who's just using her as an unknowing "mule" to smuggle cocaine past the guards. Meanwhile, Dale offers to spray the prison for a pittance in order to get on the waiting list to become an executioner.
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20 April 1999
Revenge of the Lutefisk
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13 April 1999
Dog Dale Afternoon
After Dale remorselessly damages...
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After Dale remorselessly damages Hank's mower, for what ever reason filling the gas tank with a substance her refers to as "aqua-hol", Dale further infuriates his neighbor buy purchasing an expensive new mower and instantly becomes to envy of everyone in the alley. With the assistance of Boomhauer, Bill, and Peggy, Hank hides Dale's mower and sends him a series of cryptic notes and photographs which drive further in to insanity and obsession. While do some exterminating atop a balcony, a concerned Bill thinks Dale is sniper and calls the police. With police sharp shooters and gun toting vigilantes all armed and ready to take out Dale, it's up to Hank to save the day and the life of his friend.
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06 April 1999
Hank's Cowboy Movie
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23 March 1999
Love Hurts and So Does Art
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16 March 1999
Escape from Party Island
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23 February 1999
Jon Vitti Presents: 'Return to La Grunta'
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16 February 1999
Sleight of Hank
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09 February 1999
The Wedding of Bobby Hill
Both Luanne and Bobby are enticed by...
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Both Luanne and Bobby are enticed by the charm of "self-proclaimed" genius Rad Thibodeaux, much to the dismay of Hank. After an incident at Boomhauer's house, where Bobby was supposed to be house-sitting, Luanne and Rad break-up. Upset with Luanne over the recent revelation he begins to perform a series of practical jokes which she retaliates to. For Bobby's final joke he replaces Luanne's birth control pills with candy. With the assistance of Hank and Peggy, Luanne convinces Bobby that because she didn't take her birth control pills she is now pregnant and Bobby must marry her.
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02 February 1999
De-Kahnstructing Henry
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26 January 1999
Three Coaches and a Bobby
Hank and the guys get the idea of...
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Hank and the guys get the idea of having their former high school football, Coach Sauers, coach take over Bobby's recreational football team. It appears the years have taken their toll as Sauers' coaching methods are cruel and unusual. Thus, resulting in many of the players quitting and simultaneously begin playing for the near by soccer team 'The Wind'. Much to the disappointment of Hank, Bobby soon follows.
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19 January 1999
To Spank with Love
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15 December 1998
Pretty, Pretty Dresses
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01 December 1998
Good Hill Hunting
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17 November 1998
Nine Pretty Darn Angry Men
On Black Friday, the day following...
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On Black Friday, the day following Thanksgiving, the Hill's head to the mall. Peggy is planning to spend her day shopping for what is in "her" opinion is the busiest shopping day of the holiday season, while Hank, Boomhauer, Dale, and Bill are participants in a lawnmower focus group. Much to Hank's dismay his father receives word of this event and decides to attend. If that's not enough, Hank is under the impression they're at the focus group to discuss their current line of mowers (i.e. Hank's mower). But he soon discovers that they're attending to discuss a new line of mowers. While all of the other attendees revel at the new mower, Hank goes out of his way to convince the others that this new mower isn't as good as the original just because it's new. But little do they all know, Hank's persistence has less to do with the mower and more to do with his mother...
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10 November 1998
Peggy's Pageant Fever
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03 November 1998
Next of Shin
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13 October 1998
Pregnant Paws
Hank's desperation attempts of...
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Hank's desperation attempts of getting his dog pregnant aggravate Peggy. Peggy becomes especially upset when Hank discovers Ladybird has narrow uterus and Hank decides the next best option would be in vitro fertilization. This revelation upsets Peggy because Hank didn't this hard when they were attempting to have children and when the idea in vitro fertilization came up Hank shot it down. Over time they realize that Hank's male biological clock is ticking and these attempts to get his dog pregnant is Hank unconsciously fulfilling his desire to have more children.
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06 October 1998
Peggy's Headache
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22 September 1998
And They Call It Bobby Love
When Bobby begins dating Marie, an...
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When Bobby begins dating Marie, an older girl, Hank and Peggy oppose the relationship for different reasons. Peggy believes he is too young to have a girlfriend. Hank, while somewhat proud of his son, becomes concerned with some of Marie's traits, particularly her vegetarianism. Meanwhile, a couch mysteriously appears in the alley. The guys try to get it hauled away-- until they discover how much fun they can have sitting on it.
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15 September 1998
Death of a Propane Salesman
After an accidental explosion at the...
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After an accidental explosion at the Mega Lo Mart Peggy and Bobby wait anxiously for news of Hank and Luanne's condition outside the explosion site. Fortunately the are both accounted for and well. Much to the misfortune of Luanne she has sadly suffered two losses. The loss of her hair and the loss of her boyfriend Buckley, to whom was responsible for the explosion. While physically Hank and Luanne are both fine they each deal with the psychological trauma differently. Luanne becomes an "activist" of sorts while Hank is terrified of propane.
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10 May 1998
Peggy's Turtle Song
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03 May 1998
Life in the Fast Lane, Bobby's Saga
In order to make Bobby learn the...
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In order to make Bobby learn the importance of hard work, Hank gets Bobby a job at the local race track as a drink-boy, under the management of an incompetent boss. Bobby desperately tries to convince his father that his boss is an idiot, Hank is convinced Bobby simply is isn't applying himself enough and makes him continue working for the man. Descision and an oversight, on Hank's part, that may put Bobby's life in dire jeopardy.
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26 April 1998
Junkie Business
Hank, in his fervor to pass up a...
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Hank, in his fervor to pass up a sexy, female candidate for a position at Strickland Propane, inadvertently hires drug addict Leon Petard. Morale hits an all-time low at the job place when a "stick-boy" lawyer says that Hank must accommodate for Petard's condition.
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19 April 1998
Leanne's Saga
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15 March 1998
The Final Shinsult
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08 February 1998
I Remember Mono
Whild working part-time at she and...
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Whild working part-time at she and Hank's old high school, Peggy learns that Hank had mono. The kissing disease. But Peggy has never had mono so that could mean Hank got it from another woman. After Peggy stops speaking to him Hank jumps through hoops to impress her.
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01 February 1998
Snow Job
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11 January 1998
Meet the Manger Babies
With puppets she bought at a garage...
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With puppets she bought at a garage sale, Luanne creates a Christian puppet show called The Manger Babies. At her first public performance Luanne breaks down and Hank comes to the rescue. So Luannes thanks him by giving him a role in her next show. Unfortunately her show happens to be the same day as the Super Bowl. So Hank must choose between the two.
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21 December 1997
The Unbearable Blindness of Laying
Hank's mother bring home her new...
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Hank's mother bring home her new boyfriend, an affectionate Jewish man named Gary. After Hank sees the two of them having relations, he goes blind.
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14 December 1997
Bobby Slam
Bobby joins the wrestling team and is...
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Bobby joins the wrestling team and is caught in a dilemma when he has to fight Connie in order to make the team.
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07 December 1997
The Company Man
Hank goes out of his way to impress a...
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Hank goes out of his way to impress a potential out-of-town client, Mr. Holloway, to whom wants Hank to take him on an authentic tour of Texas. Unfortunately, Mr. Holloway doesn't know Texas beyond old cowboy films. Thus Hank is out of his comfort zone and make up various lies and excuses as to why he does not fit Mr. Holloway's stereotypical impression of an authentic Texan. And just when Hank is in the process of possibly finally closing the deal M.F. Thatherton swoops in and begins to impress Mr. Holloway with is ten gallon hat, boots, and his belt buckle.
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16 November 1997
The Man Who Shot Cane Skretteburg
Hank and the guys seek vengeance...
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Hank and the guys seek vengeance after a group of teenagers beat them at paint-ball.
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09 November 1997
Husky Bobby
Much to Hank's dismay, Bobby becomes...
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Much to Hank's dismay, Bobby becomes a plus sized model.
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02 November 1997
Jumpin' Crack Bass
While on a fishing trip, for the...
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While on a fishing trip, for the first time ever the guys catch more fish than Hank. In order to regain his title Hank seeks advice from a friend to whom tells him visit his friend who sells bait on the side of the road. Hank unwittingly goes to a different person to whom happens to be a cocaine pusher. As it turns out the fish are very taken to the cocaine, so continues to buy the narcotics all the while not realizing he's buying drugs and not bait. After he and Dale are caught in the middle of a "transaction", the police show up arrest the two of them. So now in order to stay out of prison must catch a fish using cocaine.
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26 October 1997
Hilloween
Hank is excited about Halloween until...
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Hank is excited about Halloween until a woman complains has the holiday canceled.
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19 October 1997
Arrow Head
After Hank finds an arrow head in his...
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After Hank finds an arrow head in his lawn, Peggy gives a archaeologist permission to have an archaeological dig their yard.
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28 September 1997
Texas City Twister
Luanne moves back into her home, a...
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Luanne moves back into her home, a trailer, just as a twister is about to hit.
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21 September 1997
How to Fire a Rifle Without Really Trying
When Bobby discovers the one sport he...
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When Bobby discovers the one sport he is good at, marksmanship, he and Hank decide to enter a father & son tournament. As it turns out Hank is a terrible marksman.
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11 May 1997
Plastic White Female
Joeseph is throwing a co-ed party and...
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Joeseph is throwing a co-ed party and informs Bobby there is going to be kissing. Never haven kissed a girl, Bobby practices on a plastic head Luanne was given for beauty school.
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04 May 1997
King of the Ant Hill
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13 April 1997
Peggy the Boggle Champ
Peggy and Hank head to Houston so...
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Peggy and Hank head to Houston so Peggy can compete in a boggle tournament but Hank decides fore go the tournament in order to attend a lawnmower expo.
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23 March 1997
Shins of the Father
Hank's rambunctious, bigoted, sexist,...
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Hank's rambunctious, bigoted, sexist, loud war-vet father, Cotton, visits the Hills for Bobby's birthday. Instantly Cotton teaches the boy bad habits about how to treat women. Hank refuses to admit his father is doing wrong, until Cotton takes Bobby to the sleazy Hotel Arlen to go hooker shopping!
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16 February 1997
Luanne's Saga
After Buckley dumps Luanne Hanks...
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After Buckley dumps Luanne Hanks takes it upon himself to find her a new boyfriend but for his on personal gain.
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09 February 1997
Hank's Got the Willies
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02 February 1997
The Order of the Straight Arrow
When Bobby becomes a member of the...
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When Bobby becomes a member of the Straight Arrows, Hank, Dale, Bill, & Boomhauer volunteer to take them on a camping trip. While there Bobby accidentally kill a whooping crane.
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19 January 1997
Square Peg
Peggy is chosen to be the Sex...
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Peggy is chosen to be the Sex Education teacher at Bobby's school.
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