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13 May 1997
Arsenic and Old Mom
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18 March 1997
The Truth Be Told
The Conner's are approached by...
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The Conner's are approached by different network and cable film developers, each hoping to get the right to their "rags to riches" story. What starts out as excitement and enthusiasm for the family, soon dims when they realize that none of the producers they interview with want to portray them as they really are. A tabloid reporter approaches Beverly, Joan and Leon for stories about Roseanne and her family, and they are only too eager to dish the dirt.
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08 October 1996
Honor Thy Mother
Jackie and Roseanne plan an expensive...
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Jackie and Roseanne plan an expensive spa vacation. Depressed about his mother, Dan searches for the meaning of life. He decides that now that he can afford it, he wants to take her to California for a thorough evaluation of her psychiatric condition. The crowned Prince of Muldavia sees Jackie on TV and decides he must go to Landford to meet her.
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01 October 1996
What a Day for a Daydream
While sitting around the dinner table...
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While sitting around the dinner table with her family, talking about their lottery winnings, Roseanne daydreams about herself and the family being on _"Jerry Springer Show, The" (1991)_ , she and Jackie posing for "Playboy", and winning the Miss Universe contest.
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24 September 1996
Millions from Heaven
After finding out they won the...
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After finding out they won the Illinois State Lottery, the Conner's and family imagine how to spend their new-found wealth. Kathleen Sullivan and Robin Leach interview Dan and Roseanne in their home. Thowing a party in their home proves that people really do come out of the woodwork to help celebrate wealth. Dan and Roseanne vow to not let money change who they are.
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17 September 1996
Call Waiting
After leaving Dan for not taking...
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After leaving Dan for not taking better care of himself, Roseanne goes on a "spiritual odyssey", imagining herself and Dan as Ann and Donald from "That Girl", Jeannie and Major Nelson from "I Dream of Jeannie", and Mary and Lou from "The Mary Tylor Moore Show". The family tries console Dan, and encourage Roseanne to reconcile with her heart-broken husband. Jackie discovers that they won the Illinois State Lottery worth 108 million dollars.
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09 April 1996
Morning Becomes Obnoxious
A producer and reporter from "Wake up...
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A producer and reporter from "Wake up Chicago" come into the diner wanting to do a "Man-on-the-Street" interview about the diner owners - to which Roseanne, Jackie, and Leon readily, and eagerly agree. Leon stumbles through his interview nervously, like a deer caught in headlights. Jackie babbles through her's like a hyper manic who's been off her medication. But Roseanne nails her interview, and gets a job offer to do a one-minute spot on the air - where Roseanne gets to speak her mind about whatever she wants. God help TV.
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26 March 1996
Another Mouth to Shut Up
After proposing marriage to David,...
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After proposing marriage to David, Darlene tells him that she is pregnant. They plan to wait to tell the family, but Roseanne smells the fear and jokingly guesses, correctly, the Darlene is pregnant. Dan is convinced that they are not ready to start a family, and is openly not happy for them at all. Roseanne, knowing that there is nothing she can do, feigns happiness and tries to give Darlene advice and support.
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13 February 1996
Construction Junction
Dan is at a crossroads when a...
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Dan is at a crossroads when a promising new construction job opens up that could make him and his old crew a lot of money. He struggles with whether to continue his job at the garage or to strike while the iron is hot on the construction job. Meanwhile, Jackie reluctantly starts using the internet on her new computer and is amazed how much she likes it. She becomes so obsessed a concerned David has to intervene.
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06 February 1996
Out of the Past
Nana Mary visits Roseanne and Jackie...
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Nana Mary visits Roseanne and Jackie at Jackie's house, and brings a box of their childhood belongings. Among them was a doll that Jackie thought was lost forever, and causes a huge fight when Jackie realizes that Roseanne was the one who hid it from her all those years ago out of jealousy. Dan has a poker game at the house, and Roseanne convinces him to invite Leon and Scott, but is worried that they will spend the whole night nagging each other like housewives. The men have a spirited discussion about how blacks, gays, and poor white men are looked upon in this country.
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16 January 1996
Becky Howser, M.D.
Mark tries to cheer up a glum Becky...
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Mark tries to cheer up a glum Becky by inviting the family over for a surprise get-together. As the night goes on, Becky's mood only worsens which prompts Roseanne to pull her aside for a heart to heart talk. Becky admits she feels like she missed her chance to go to college and become a therapist or an EMT. Becky even admits to having second thoughts about her marriage to Mark.
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09 January 1996
White Sheep of the Family
The Conners receive a small...
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The Conners receive a small inheritance from their Great Aunt Harriet and decide to spend it by going out on a nice dinner. However, the evening takes a turn for the worse when Darlene unexpectedly comes home. She spends most of her time alienating and insulting the rest of the family until a surprising fact about Darlene is revealed and the family bites back.
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02 January 1996
The Thrilla near the Vanilla Extract
Roseanne and Jackie get jobs as...
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Roseanne and Jackie get jobs as product promoters in the local supermarket. Once they start giving out samples, however, sibling rivalry takes over. Roseanne's jealousy runs high when Jackie begins outselling her and their friendly competition turns into a literal food fight.
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12 December 1995
December Bride
Roseanne finally gets to meet Leon's...
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Roseanne finally gets to meet Leon's fiancé, Scott, and learns that they are planning a wedding. In order to free Leon up to travel to Minnesota to meet the minister, Roseanne volunteers to finish planning the wedding - which becomes "one gigantic, offensive, Roseanniacle ball of wrong". Leon develops a bad case of cold feet, and it is Roseanne to the rescue.
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05 December 1995
Direct to Video
Roseanne narrates a video for her...
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Roseanne narrates a video for her baby and wants everyone in the family to have a part in it. Darlene and Becky find Dan and Roseanne's old love letters. Fred is determined to seem intelligent and interesting to Jackie but only succeeds in making her feel more crushed by their divorce. Dan attempts to comfort Jackie while Mark prepares a special dinner for the family.
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07 November 1995
The Fifties Show
The Conners are caught in a time warp...
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The Conners are caught in a time warp back to the 1950s in which Roseanne is a cheerful, frilly housewife, Dan is the head of the house, Jackie is an eccentric next door neighbor, Becky is a poodle-skirt wearing teenage girl with a hunky boyfriend, David is an exchange student from Canada, and DJ is an aspiring rock star who's under pressure from his dad to be a football player.
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31 October 1995
Halloween - The Final Chapter
The Conner clan celebrate Halloween...
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The Conner clan celebrate Halloween with typical Conner flare. Dan and David entertain trick-or-treaters with help from Beverly. Roseanne and Jackie play with the Ouija board, which informs Roseanne that she is going to have her baby N.O.W., seconds before she goes into labor. At the hospital, Roseanne visits her "happy place": memories of Halloween's past. And with a little help from Demerol, she goes on a psychedelic journey which includes the spirit of the recently parted Jerry Garcia, who visits Roseanne with a message of magic, bliss, and spiritual connection to one another. Roseanne gives birth to a baby boy, naming him Jerry Garcia Conner, in honor of the late-great iconic hero.
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24 October 1995
The Last Date
Roseanne and Dan decide to go out on...
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Roseanne and Dan decide to go out on the town one final time before the baby is born. After finding out that their diner table at the nice hotel they're staying at will be unavailable for quite some time, they crash a Bar Mitzvah taking place in the private dining room. Becky and Darlene discover a bottle of peppermint schnapps at the restaurant after closing and get wasted.
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17 October 1995
Roseanne in the Hood
A new diner is opening up across the...
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A new diner is opening up across the street from Roseanne and Jackie's diner, and they are worried that it will spell the end for "The Lunch Box". To promote the new restaurant's grand opening, the owners hire
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19 September 1995
Shower the People You Love with Stuff
D.J.'s old bedroom is being converted...
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D.J.'s old bedroom is being converted into a nursery for the new baby. After discovering that a new baby crib is out of her price range, Roseanne schemes up a baby shower in hopes of getting at least forty $10.00 gifts, that she can exchange for the $400.00 crib. This plan threatens to backfire when the gifts are mostly homemade, or are otherwise nonexchangeable. After being unable to work together to paint the nursery without squabbling, Roseanne reassigns Becky and Darlene to throw the baby shower instead, but the girls are still at each other's throats because Darlene refuses to pull her weight, sticking Becky with all the work. Roseanne gets David to throw a "guy" baby shower for Dan with the men at his shop, hoping for even more exchangeable gifts, but that backfires as well.
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24 May 1995
Sherwood Schwartz--A Loving Tribute
David announces to the Conners that...
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David announces to the Conners that he wants to spend a month in Europe after graduation, but Darlene selfishly pressures him out of it. Dan starts working on building his boat again, but Roseanne insists that they can't afford it, and makes fun of his dream, launching into a fantasy where she and her family play the castaways on
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17 May 1995
Couch Potatoes
The Conners are selected to be a...
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The Conners are selected to be a "Neilsen Family". Roseanne, who is going through a nesting period in her pregnancy, insists that the family watch nothing but educational-type programing to prove to the Neilsen people that they are not white trash. After Dan breaks the couch, Roseanne accepts a hand-me-down couch from her Mother, but soon regrets it. Jackie and Fred make a life-altering decision.
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03 May 1995
The Blaming of the Shrew
Dan lays down the law when DJ lets a...
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Dan lays down the law when DJ lets a pushy, aggressive girl order him around but Roseanne likes the girl in question. But when the relationship lands DJ in trouble at school, Roseanne has to intervene. Jackie and Fred go to marriage counselor to help solve their relationship problems.
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29 March 1995
Happy Trailers
Mark and Becky find a tiny run-down...
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Mark and Becky find a tiny run-down trailer in a trailer park, and decide to make it home. Determined to fix up their home all on their own, they turn down offers of assistance from Dan and Roseanne, who in turn have to find covert way to help the kids out. Roseanne discovers that they will need to come up with $2,000 to prepay for the baby's doctor and hospital stay.
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22 March 1995
Husbands and Wives
Fred is still angry and bitter about...
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Fred is still angry and bitter about his separation from Jackie while Jackie is beginning to see the sliver lining and starts going on outings that Fred never enjoyed. Meanwhile, Roseanne begins meddling in order to get the two of them back together but begins to regret it when she realizes how unsure Jackie is that she even loves Fred anymore.
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15 February 1995
Lost Youth
The green-eyed monster emerges in...
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The green-eyed monster emerges in force between David and Mark when they both become interested in Stacy, a waitress at the Lunch Box, whom David asks to pose for a wall mural. Jackie thinks her sex life with Fred needs spicing up while Fred is happy leaving well enough alone.
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08 February 1995
Sisters
Fred tells Jackie that he doesn't...
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Fred tells Jackie that he doesn't want D.J. to visit their house so much anymore, because he gets weirder every time he comes over. In order to protect Fred, Jackie tells Roseanne that she is the one who has a problem with D.J. constantly being at her house, which infuriates Roseanne. Dan tricks Darlene into coming home for the weekend and tries to make the girls stop bickering for their Mother's sake. D.J. expresses a strange, new fascination with eating cardboard.
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01 February 1995
Bed and Bored
Roseanne pretends to be ill in order...
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Roseanne pretends to be ill in order to get some rest and relaxation to the exhaustion of everyone else in the family, who are at her beck and call. David discovers Roseanne's faking but when he confronts her, Roseanne strikes a deal with him that he reluctantly accepts. Meanwhile, Jackie confronts Beverly about being an awful mother and is stunned by her reaction.
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11 January 1995
My Name Is Bev
After being arrested for D.U.I.,...
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After being arrested for D.U.I., Beverly is forced to attend Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) meetings, where she discovers that she might really be an alcoholic. This new realization does not bode well for the family, since Roseanne is forbidding anyone to drink while Beverly is in the house, which quickly puts an end to Dan's super-bowl party. Dan, Jackie, and Fred sneak out to the garage to drink and watch the game on an old portable TV, until Beverly catches them, and pitches a fit, prompting Roseanne to pitch a fit, or two, of her own.
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04 January 1995
Rear Window
This synopsis is too short and may...
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This synopsis is too short and may not include the required detailed description of the entire plot. We normally require that synopses be at least 10 lines long.
If you have seen this title, please help us by improving and expanding this synopsis.
Some elderly neighbors of the Conners, have a very interesting habit, that causes some havoc :)
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14 December 1994
The Parenting Trap
Roseanne and Dan are called down to...
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Roseanne and Dan are called down to the school to see D.J.'s teacher because he refuses to write his homework on the board, and his teacher is concerned that D.J. may have a learning disability. Dan discovers that it is not because he can't do the work, but because he is at that age where boys sometimes get an involuntary erection, and D.J. is embarrassed to stand up. The family meets David's new girlfriend, Dinah. Darlene discovers that David is actually developing feelings for Becky.
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30 November 1994
Maybe Baby
Tensions are heightened at the Connor...
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Tensions are heightened at the Connor house as a short-fused Roseanne waits for the amniocentesis results. Dan tries his best to help devise a solution and comfort Roseanne but his good intentions are misinterpreted. Everyone seems to have an opinion on the situation, which only angers Roseanne and intensifies her doubts and fears.
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23 November 1994
Thanksgiving 1994
It's a Thanksgiving full of tension...
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It's a Thanksgiving full of tension and anxiety when Roseanne gets alarming news about her baby from the prenatal clinic. The discomfort is only worsened when Nana Mary shows up with her new husband and upsets Bev, and the rest of the family, by discussing the two abortions she (Nana Mary) had years before.
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16 November 1994
White Men Can't Kiss
Dan and Roseanne find out that D.J....
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Dan and Roseanne find out that D.J. wants to skip participating in his school play because he has to kiss a black girl, and is uncomfortable about it. Roseanne wants to force him, and Dan is worried that D.J. might have gotten prejudiced ideas by something he has unwittingly said or done. Jackie is perplexed by the fact that Fred seems to enjoy spending time with her mother.
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09 November 1994
Punch and Jimmy
Roseanne and Jackie go to Chicago for...
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Roseanne and Jackie go to Chicago for Parent's Day, to surprise Darlene, and in hopes of meeting her new boyfriend, Jimmy. David wants to learn how to be tough, in order to compete with Darlene's boyfriend, who is a boxer, for her affections. Roseanne assigns Dan to help David feel good about just being himself. D.J. is getting picked on at school by a bully, but refuses to learn to fight back for fear that getting hit will hurt. Fred is impressed with Dan's parenting, until he figures out that Dan is only doing what Roseanne tells him to.
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05 October 1994
Snoop Davey Dave
Upset about Darlene breaking up with...
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Upset about Darlene breaking up with him, David tells the Conner's that Darlene experimented with drugs while away at school. Roseanne forbids Darlene to return to school, David volunteers to help "keep an eye" on her. Concerned that perhaps they are doing the wrong thing, and after confronting Darlene, Dan convinces Roseanne to at least reconsider her decision.
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28 September 1994
Two for One
Roseanne discovers that Darlene is...
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Roseanne discovers that Darlene is seeing someone besides David, and that he knows about it, so she encourages David to fight for his relationship. Dan confides in Jackie that he is unsure how he feels about Roseanne's pregnancy, and finds comfort, but when he tells Roseanne about his insecurities, it blows up in his face. Roseanne confides in Jackie that she is having the same doubts.
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21 September 1994
Nine Is Enough
Feeling at the end of their "privacy"...
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Feeling at the end of their "privacy" rope, Roseanne and Dan decide to throw Becky and Mark out of the house. Becky confides that she and Mark are trying to get pregnant, so the plan to ask them to leave gets thrown out the window. Jackie argues with Fred about how she wants the baby to sleep in bed with them, and he wants Andy to sleep in his own crib. Upset, Jackie takes the baby and heads for Roseanne's already over-crowded house to stay there herself. To top it all off, D.J. is having a friend of his own spend the weekend. The straw that breaks the camel's back for Dan, is when everyone in the house congregates in Dan's bathroom while he was trying to have a private conversation with Roseanne. Fed up, he seeks refuge at Fred's house. Roseanne makes a shocking discovery.
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24 May 1994
Altar Egos
Fred is unsettled by the fact that...
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Fred is unsettled by the fact that Jackie turns to Dan, and not him, when she needs help from a man. Upset, convinced that Jackie has feeling for Dan, and half-drunk, Fred confronts Dan, takes a swing at him, and tells Jackie that maybe they shouldn't get married, but offers no explanation. Dan tells Roseanne, who tells Jackie what is really troubling Fred, and they both have a good laugh at the idea. Clearing the air paves the way for Fred and Jackie's wedding.
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17 May 1994
Isnt It Romantic?
Fred climbs out of the doghouse with...
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Fred climbs out of the doghouse with Jackie by gathering inspiration from her soaps, and figuring out a romantic way to propose to her. David climbs into the doghouse with Darlene by commenting that it's a woman's obligation to bear children. Dan joins David in the doghouse when his attempt to be romantic with Roseanne fall short. Roseanne dreams of being romanced by the men on
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29 March 1994
Lies My Father Told Me
Dan's mother, Audrey, is put into a...
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Dan's mother, Audrey, is put into a mental institute, and Dan blames the years of neglect by his father for her emotional problems. Determined to confront his Dad, he shows up at Ed's second wife, Crystal's house drunk and destructive. Crystal, tired of Dan blaming everything on her husband, tells Roseanne a secret about Audrey that had been kept from Dan his whole life. Dan is mortified an filled with disbelief about Crystal's revelations. The older Conner-Healy kids work overtime to make D.J. think he might be crazy too.
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22 March 1994
Past Imperfect
Audrey cries to Dan about his father...
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Audrey cries to Dan about his father owing her money, so he confronts Ed, hoping he will do the right thing. Jackie and Fred go out on a "get to know you better" date, in hopes of building an honest, solid relationship. Jackie admits to Fred the fact that she has had a lot more sexual partners than he has, causing a rift, and a step backwards in the relationship they are trying to build. D.J. goes through a rebellious stage.
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08 March 1994
Labor Day
Jackie tells Roseanne that Fred wants...
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Jackie tells Roseanne that Fred wants to be in the delivery room, and the hospital will only allow one extra person to be with her. When Jackie realizes that she is in labor, Roseanne puts off calling Fred to let him know, in hopes that she will get to be the one who stays with Jackie during the delivery. Guilt over this delay gets the better of her, and she sends Dan out to try and find him. Beverly reveals to Jackie that she was born with the name "Margorie", but that Roseanne had trouble saying it, calling her "My Jackie" instead, and the name stuck.
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01 March 1994
Dont Ask, Dont Tell
Nancy introduces her new girlfriend,...
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Nancy introduces her new girlfriend, Sharon, to Roseanne and Jackie. Sharon invites them to go out dancing with she and Nancy at a gay bar, and winds up giving Roseanne a romantic kiss. This freaks Roseanne out, but she has a hard time figuring out why. Jackie is openly uncomfortable about people assuming she might be gay, which prompts an amused Roseanne to behave like they are a couple.
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15 February 1994
Dont Make Room for Daddy
Since Jackie has made it very clear...
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Since Jackie has made it very clear that Fred is not welcome to be a part of their baby's life, Fred retaliates with plans to sue Jackie for custody after the birth, which throws Jackie into hysterics. Fighting over whether Fred has the right to force himself into his baby's life, split the men and women of the Conner house. Roseanne learns that Dan put the idea in Fred's head, which puts him under the doghouse. Mark and D.J. gang up on David to challenge his masculinity, or lack there of.
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08 February 1994
Everyone Comes to Jackies
Darlene comes home to try to convince...
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Darlene comes home to try to convince her father to let David move back in the house "from Michigan", without success. After catching David making out in the basement with Darlene, Dan finds out that he was lied to by his family once again, discovering that not only did David not go to his mother's in Michigan when Dan threw him out, but that he was staying with Jackie... and that Roseanne was responsible. Darlene joins David at Jackie's house, to get away from her angry father. Jackie gets irritated when people keep asking her to leave the room, in her own house, when they want to talk out their problems.
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01 February 1994
David vs. Goliath
Roseanne and Becky try to convince...
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Roseanne and Becky try to convince Dan to hire Mark at the city garage. Riddled with guilt (and tired of Roseanne working him like a dog), David confessed to Dan that he was living with Darlene in Chicago instead of his mother's in Michigan. Furious, Dan throws him out of the house, telling Roseanne to take him to the bus station and send him to Michigan for real, but she takes him to Jackie's instead. Roseanne goes on a mission to guilt Dan into taking David back. Jackie is upset when she discovers that, with Roseanne's help, Fred has been sneaking financial support for the baby into her tip jar, since she wants nothing to do with him.
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11 January 1994
Busted
Darlene is fed up with David, who has...
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Darlene is fed up with David, who has been secretly living with her for months instead of his mother in Michigan, as Dan and Roseanne believe, but feels guilty for constantly having to lie to her parents. A miserable Becky unfairly blames Roseanne for Mark walking out on her. Tired of being blamed for the whole mess, Roseanne tries to get Mark to patch things up with Becky, seeking him out at his friend's apartment. Roseanne discovers the truth about where David is from Mark's confused roommate, prompting her to go to Chicago, and drag David home with her, but lies to Dan about why David is back in the house.
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04 January 1994
Suck Up or Shut Up
Roseanne decides to join the Lanford...
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Roseanne decides to join the Lanford Women's Association to develop contacts for her restaurant, especially since Leon is opposed to her being the one to do it. In an effort to suck-up, Roseanne makes D.J. play with one of the member's weird son, Elijah. Dan discovers that, instead of going to school every evening, Mark has been going to the Lobo Lounge because he dropped out, and didn't want Becky to know. In a special cameo skit at the end, the famous "Luke" and "Laura", from "General Hospital", compare hardships with Dan and Roseanne.
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14 December 1993
White Trash Christmas
After receiving notice from the...
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After receiving notice from the neighborhood association about not putting up tacky Christmas decorations on their property, the Conners go all out for a "white trash" Christmas. Dan and Roseanne offer Becky money to start college, but freak when she gives the money to her husband, Mark, to attend trade-school, forbidding her give it to him. Becky retaliates by refusing the money, taking a job in a Hooter's-like bar/restaurant, Bunz, to pay for Mark's school herself. When Beverly and D.J. drop in on Darlene unannounced, D.J. discovers a secret that Darlene has been keeping from the family. Dan teaches Mark secrets of a happy marriage.
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30 November 1993
The Drivers Seat
Leon manipulates Nancy and Jackie...
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Leon manipulates Nancy and Jackie into voting to serve breakfast at the diner, among other changes, without consulting Roseanne. Starved for attention, D.J. steals and wrecks the family car while joy-riding, causing a stressed-out Roseanne to lash out in a violent way that she quickly regrets. The power-play between Leon and Roseanne escalates, prompting Dan to have a talk with Leon about backing off. When Dan realizes that Roseanne is not just being paranoid where Leon is concerned, he steps aside, leaving Leon to Roseanne's mercy.
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23 November 1993
Thanksgiving 1993
It's a Thanksgiving in a typical...
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It's a Thanksgiving in a typical Connor family fashion. Becky volunteers to take over cooking duties while Dan and Mark are still at each others throats, Fred is shocked at the dysfunction of the family he may marry into, and Nana Mary reveals a long-kept secret about Bev's marriage.
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16 November 1993
Homecoming
Following the Homecoming game, Dan...
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Following the Homecoming game, Dan holds a 25-year-reunion party for his former high school football team, begging his family to behave loving and happy for the duration. Becky and Mark come home for a visit after a long absence following their move. The two are fighting, and Becky contemplates leaving him. Roseanne invites Becky and Mark to move in so they can get on their feet financially. Darlene confides a secret she's keeping with her sister.
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09 November 1993
Guilt by Imagination
An old fling of Dan's, and old...
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An old fling of Dan's, and old nemesis of Roseanne's from high school visits Dan at the City Garage, and invites him out to lunch. Jackie finds out from Fred, lies to Roseanne about where Dan is, confronts Dan at home later that evening, but believes him that it was only an innocent lunch. Unaware of how Dan spent his lunch hour, Roseanne confides in Jackie that Dan played hooky that afternoon, and the two of them had the best sex ever. Thanks to Jackie's inability to lie convincingly to Roseanne, she realizes that she has been lied to, forcing Dan to come clean about who he spent his lunch with. Enraged and humiliated, Roseanne walks out on Dan.
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02 November 1993
Homeward Bound
Roseanne tries to encourage David to...
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Roseanne tries to encourage David to snap out of his moping about Darlene being away at school, and do something with his life, but it backfires when David decides to move back in with his Mom in Michigan. Darlene comes home for a visit to surprise David, but they wind up at each others' throats. D.J. is humiliated when the entire family figures out why he locks himself in the bathroom for long periods of time.
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26 October 1993
Halloween V
The Conner's gear up for their...
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The Conner's gear up for their favorite holiday, with their traditional flare for trying to out-prank one another. Roseanne, the queen of Halloween, falls for the various elaborate pranks pulled on her by her family, for a change. Nancy is upset because she is painfully aware that Dan doesn't like her, so Roseanne sets out to convince her she is wrong by insisting that Dan pull a prank on Nancy, before Nancy sells her share of the diner to Leon.
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19 October 1993
Be My Baby
Trying to conceive another child,...
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Trying to conceive another child, Roseanne puts Dan on a "love-making schedule", to no avail. Jackie discovers that she's pregnant from her one-night-stand with Fred, and is hesitant about telling him. Roseanne has no problem spreading Jackie's good news to their Mother, and their friends, but is stopped before she can tell Fred. To relieve the pressure and disappointment, Dan and Roseanne decide to stop actually trying to get pregnant, and let nature take it's course.
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05 October 1993
A Stash from the Past
"A Stash from the Past" is a wise,...
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"A Stash from the Past" is a wise, waggish and exceedingly daring episode from a sitcom renowned for its unflinching audacity. When Roseanne finds a bag of pot in one of the kids' rooms, she's angry---and worried about how Dan is going to react. Of course, he goes ballistic, until he realizes the stuff is a 20-year old relic of his and Roseanne's youth, inevitably, they roll a joint for old times' sake, and before you can say "like, wow," Dan, Roseanne and her sister, Jackie, are adrift in a Cheech-and-Chong time warp. At first, they have fun sneaking around like they did in the '70s, hoping not to get busted by their children, but then adult realities set in like a bad trip.
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28 September 1993
Party Politics
Jackie and Roseanne plan a...
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Jackie and Roseanne plan a house-warming party for Jackie's new home, and attempt to hide it from their Mom. Roseanne invites Darlene home for the weekend with the agenda of getting David and Darlene back together. D.J. goes through a rebellious period, skipping school and enlisting Darlene's help to cover for him, making Roseanne determined for find out what he is up to. Fred pursues Jackie after their one-night-stand.
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21 September 1993
The Mommys Curse
Roseanne makes a deal with Jackie,...
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Roseanne makes a deal with Jackie, that if she asks Fred out, Roseanne will ask their mother to become a silent partner in the restaurant, and stay away. This hurts Beverly's feeling, and she swears not to have anything further to do with either one of them. Jackie and Fred go out; Fred wants to keep seeing Jackie, but she doesn't want to. Roseanne feels guilty about hurting her Mom, and wants her Mom to do something hurtful back to lessen her guilt. Beverly takes her up on it by selling her share of the diner to the last person Roseanne would have expected... or wanted.
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14 September 1993
Two Down, One to Go
Roseanne is looking forward to taking...
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Roseanne is looking forward to taking Darlene to college, but Darlene wants David to take her instead, hurting her mother's feeling in the process. After David threatens to break up with her for going away, she decides to go alone early. Dan sets Darlene straight on how important it is for her mother to take her. Roseanne, true to form, puts her foot down on the subject as well. Darlene and Roseanne, despite how the week started, managed to find a way to bond. Feeling the empty-nest-syndrome, Roseanne talks to Dan about having another child.
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11 May 1993
Tooth or Consequences
D.J. comes running in the house with...
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D.J. comes running in the house with a skinned knee. Dan and Roseanne take him to the kitchen to get fixed up, but when Dan slings open the freezer door to get ice, he accidentally hits Roseanne in the face, knocking out a tooth. After a few failed attempts earlier in their relationship, Darlene and David finally have sex for the first time. They also get the responses to their college applications. David doesn't get in, but Darlene does, prompting her to hide the truth... at first. Determined to be allowed to go to this art school in Chicago, Darlene enlists her Aunt Jackie's help to try and talk Roseanne into letting her go. Dan gets a job with the City.
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04 May 1993
Glengarry, Glen Rosey
When it looks like the fixer-upper...
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When it looks like the fixer-upper house Dan has invested in is going to pay off, the Conners are on top of the world. But when the buyer backs out, and one partner skips out, and the bills are due on the project-house, that world threatens to come crashing down. Pushed by Beverly's latest attempt at driving Jackie insane, Jackie finally blurts out to her Mom that she has been seeing a psychiatrist. Nancy decides she wants to have a baby, but her chosen sperm-donor turns out to be a real rotten egg. An unlikely source rides in who just may save the day for the Conners.
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06 April 1993
Promises, Promises
After some prodding from (and...
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After some prodding from (and striking deals with) her Mom, Darlene agrees to go to the prom with David, where she has a surprise deal of her own for her boyfriend. Roger attempts to strike a deal with Dan, using the temptation of being able to make him a ton of money, but is met with a mixed reaction from the Conners. Roseanne attempts a surprise fix-up between Jackie and Roger for a couples' night out, but to Roseanne's surprise, Roger shows up with a date. His choice of date is a jaw-dropping, shock to everyone.
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23 March 1993
Playing with Matches
Tired of having their Mom hanging...
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Tired of having their Mom hanging around them all the time, Roseanne and Jackie try to encourage a relationship between Beverly and Jake, her friend from the retirement community they both live in. Molly comes on to, and kisses David, making him nervous and uncomfortable. To back her off, David confesses the plans he and Darlene have for the future, like possibly dropping out of school and running away together. Having seen and overheard this strange exchange, D.J. confronts Darlene with what he knows, and asks her if any of it is true, prompting Darlene ponders David's fate.
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09 March 1993
It Was Twenty Years Ago Today
Roseanne and Dan plan a romantic...
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Roseanne and Dan plan a romantic dinner date to celebrate their twentieth wedding anniversary, but struggle with what to give one another. Dan finds out that Roseanne has decided on something expensive for him, so in order to get Roseanne a nice gift too, he takes a temporary job at Maury's Big and Tall store. His gift idea (and the job to pay for it), which seemed like a good idea at the time, soon blows up in his face.
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02 March 1993
Its a Boy
David's parents are moving to...
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David's parents are moving to Chicago, and David does not want to join them. Darlene asks if David can move in with them, but Roseanne and Dan declare it out of the question. Roseanne later learns that David was planning to run away, so she met his mother, who came off as mean and drunk. She treated David poorly, forcing Roseanne to change her mind and allow David to move in with them.
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09 February 1993
Wait till Your Father Gets Home
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26 January 1993
Lanford Daze
The Conners prepare for the 'Founding...
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The Conners prepare for the 'Founding Fathers Day' celebration in Lanford. Roseanne sets up a food booth, where she meets the one and only, Loretta Lynn. D.J. and his Woodchuck Troup, put on the town play reenacting the signing of Lanford's incorporation. Their family's own founding father, Dan, gets a job selling hot tubs. And last, but not least, Darlene protests the Conner's involvement in the whole "meat industrial complex" with vandalism at her mother's diner that lands her in more than just hot water.
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12 January 1993
War and Peace
Part 2 of 2: Dan gets bailed out of...
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Part 2 of 2: Dan gets bailed out of jail by an amused Darlene, while rumors fly from wild to wilder, as to why he was arrested. Jackie learns why Dan was arrested, and finds herself both angry with, and touched by Dan's protective gesture. Overwhelmed, and feeling like things are moving too fast, Jackie leans on Roseanne to help her move out of Fisher's apartment. Roseanne lovingly declares that her family is officially "Poor White Trash".
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05 January 1993
Crime and Punishment
Part 1 of 2: D.J. is busted at school...
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Part 1 of 2: D.J. is busted at school for having obscene reading material. Dan meets with the principle, but dreads it, because he is certain that the reading material D.J. brought to school is one of his porno magazines. He soon discovers that the reading material is far more sick and twisted than just a skin magazine; begging the question of where D.J. got it, and leaving him speechless by the answer. Roseanne and Dan discover that Jackie has been keeping a dark secret, and each of them try to help her by dealing with it in their own, unique, way.
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15 December 1992
Its No Place Like Home for the Holidays
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20 October 1992
Looking for Loans in All the Wrong Places
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22 September 1992
Terms of Estrangement: Part 2
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15 September 1992
Terms of Estrangement: Part 1
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07 May 1991
Scenes from a Barbecue
The family barbecue sees Nana Mary's...
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The family barbecue sees Nana Mary's first appearance on the show. Family and friends (except Dan's father and Roseanne's mother) gather at the Conner household for food, drink and singing, and Roseanne's fellow waitress Bonnie, gets a chance to show what a great singer she really is. Beverley still manages to upset Roseanne and Jackie from the other end of the phone, but Nana Mary turns the tables on her.
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12 March 1991
Her Boyfriends Back
Becky's boyfriend Mark is certainly...
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Becky's boyfriend Mark is certainly not popular around the Conner house when Dan learns he and Becky tampered with his vintage motorcycle, Dan hits the roof, blaming Becky, while Roseanne heads to Mark's house to try and make him break up with her daughter.
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15 January 1991
The Wedding
Part 2 of 2. Roseanne throws Crystal...
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Part 2 of 2. Roseanne throws Crystal a bridal shower and discovers yet another secret. Ed desperately tried to bond with Crystal's son Lonnie. Dan vehemently opposes this wedding, and is furious with Roseanne for participating in it against his wishes. Convinced that his father will ruin Crystal's life, Dan confronts the man in hopes of getting him to call the wedding off.
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08 January 1991
The Courtship of Eddie, Dans Father
Part 1 of 2. Roseanne plans an...
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Part 1 of 2. Roseanne plans an impromptu Christmas dinner party in January for Dan's father Ed, who couldn't be there for Christmas. She decides to invite Donald, a customer she knows at Rodbell's Coffee Shop, and Crystal, with a ruse, as a surprise fix-up for the two. Just before dinner is served, however, Roseanne is served a huge surprise of her own, forcing her to rethink her plans. When Dan is let in on the secret, he becomes irate, and stubbornly refuses to accept reality.
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12 December 1990
Confessions
Roseanne's mother, Beverly, visits...
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Roseanne's mother, Beverly, visits for the weekend, much to the dismay of the family. Roseanne tricks Jackie into coming over to help keep her from being alone with her mother. While confessing youthful transgressions to their Mom for fun, Jackie discovers that her parents always thought she had potential to make something out of herself; while Roseanne discovers that they always knew that she would "just" be an ordinary housewife and mother. Roseanne finds this revelation hurtful, and wonders if she treats her own daughters that differently.
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04 December 1990
Do You Know Where Your Parents Are?
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08 May 1990
Happy Birthday
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10 April 1990
April Fools Day
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13 February 1990
Im Hungry
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09 January 1990
One for the Road
With the adults away, Becky and her...
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With the adults away, Becky and her friend Dana, decide to really live it up. Using the alcoholic beverages in the house, Becky creates two "twisters", and the girls experience next-day hangovers, which can be the side effects from taking that first sip of a near-fatal glass of beer.
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19 December 1989
Chicken Hearts - Chicken Hearts
Roseanne lands a job at a chicken...
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Roseanne lands a job at a chicken restaurant, with a total dweeb for a supervisor. He wants her to work weekends, which she is unable to do, so she invites the boy to dinner and gets Dan to help him assemble his carburetor for school. But will the kindness pay off in the end?
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28 November 1989
Brain-Dead Poets Society
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19 September 1989
Little Sister
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02 May 1989
Lets Call It Quits
A firm, no-nonsense supervisor takes...
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A firm, no-nonsense supervisor takes charge at Wellman's, demanding a quota of 8,000 units. Roseanne, Jackie and all the women feel it's a tough load to handle. However, the boss will come down on his demands if Roseanne can swallow her pride and be humane.
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21 February 1989
Mall Story
The Conner's, Jackie, and Crystal...
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The Conner's, Jackie, and Crystal enjoy a Saturday trip to the Mall for the annual Spring-a-Thon sale. Becky tries to talk Roseanne into buying her an expensive dress, while Dan tries to talk Rosanne out of making him buy expensive shoes. Only one will be victorious. Darlene learns her sugar limit, and D.J. learns the meaning of the word "wait". While Jackie becomes depressed about her life, Crystal is having the time of her life.
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24 January 1989
The Monday Thru Friday Show
Darlene is discovering that her job...
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Darlene is discovering that her job delivering newspapers is not the easy way to make money she thought it would be. Roseanne and Dan each try to plan a second honeymoon, and disagree on which one they should take, leaving Jackie to step in and save the day. Becky is stuck with a moral dilemma at school.
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17 January 1989
Canoga Time
Roseanne and Dan clash over what will...
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Roseanne and Dan clash over what will be donated to a charity drive. Dan has trouble letting go of his stuff, so he plots ways to keep it. Darlene is worried about a bad grade on her report card getting her into trouble, so she plots to conceal the truth from her parents. Jackie is upset with Booker for nearly standing her up... again.
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10 January 1989
Saturday
Dan plans to spend another Saturday...
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Dan plans to spend another Saturday working on his truck in which more drinking with friends gets done than any actual work. Roseanne is fed up and bets Dan he can't get the truck fixed by the end of the afternoon. If she's right, he has to take over all oven-cleaning duties; if Roseanne's wrong, she has to take over all snow-shoveling duties. Meanwhile, Dan's drinking buddy Dwight tries his hardest to impress a disinterested Jackie.
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03 January 1989
Dan's Birthday Bash
The kids plan a birthday breakfast...
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The kids plan a birthday breakfast for their Dad. Roseanne plans a birthday bash for Dan at the Lobo Lounge. What starts out as a great party, soon turn sour, when a drunken bar patron picks a fight with Dan over use of the pool table. A furious Roseanne prevents Dan from brawling with the bruiser, leaving Dan humiliated and angry. Becky is nervous about meeting and having diner with her boyfriend's parents.
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20 December 1988
Here's to Good Friends
Upset because she got dumped again,...
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Upset because she got dumped again, and certain she will never find a good man, Crystal turns to Roseanne and Jackie for support and advice. Booker turns down a date with Jackie because his "Mother" is in town, and turns up at the Lobo Lounge with another woman. Jackie decides not to turn the other cheek. Praying for a snow day, Darlene procrastinates doing a book report she has to turn in the next day.
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13 December 1988
The Memory Game
Dan hires a photographer to take a...
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Dan hires a photographer to take a family portrait at the house for an upcoming high school reunion. Everyone is dressed up and posed when Jackie lets the cat out of the bag about a fling Dan had back in high school with Roseanne's nemesis.
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06 December 1988
Lovers Lanes
Roseanne talks Booker and the women...
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Roseanne talks Booker and the women from work into going bowling. Becky gets dolled up for the night out, because she has a first crush on a boy from her school that works at the bowling alley, but is mortified at the thought of being embarrassed by her parents. Jackie and Booker make a "friendly" wager involving a sleepover vs. toilet bowl scrubbing.
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29 November 1988
Radio Days
Roseanne wants Dan into entering a...
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Roseanne wants Dan into entering a country music song-writing contest sponsored by the local radio station. Dan is reluctant to do so until he finds out that the grand prize is a hundred dollars. Unable to come up with a new idea, and not pleased with anything he wrote in the past, Dan chooses one of Roseanne's old poems to put to music. Sexual tension between Jackie and Booker heat up in the workplace. Becky and Darlene are at each other's throats.
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22 November 1988
Language Lessons
While making his famous chili, Dan...
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While making his famous chili, Dan awaits a phone call about a badly-needed construction job, and has to run Jackie off the phone. Dan expresses his annoyance with Jackie always being over at their house to Roseanne, but while Dan and Roseanne are taking a relationship test in the back of a teen magazine for fun, his annoyances about Jackie come to the surface in front of her. When she comments that he wouldn't even notice so much if he had a job, Dan is pushed too far. Darlene is making a castle for extra credit because she is flunking History, but D.J. accidentally destroys it, causing a fight between the two.
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01 November 1988
D-I-V-O-R-C-E
Roseanne and Dan plan a romantic...
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Roseanne and Dan plan a romantic dinner date out, and run into an old friend that they were unaware had been divorced. When they learn that her divorce was because her husband refused to allow her to follow a dream, that Roseanne inspired, Dan wonders if Roseanne will grow to feel the same way. When Jackie is late for baby-sitting, Becky is allowed to cover, much to the delight of the kids.
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25 October 1988
We're in the Money
When Dan receives a $500 advance on a...
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When Dan receives a $500 advance on a drywall job, everyone hopes there will be money left over for something extra for themselves. When it turns out that, after the bills are paid, there will barely be enough left to buy one thing, Dan and Roseanne each buy themselves a luxury item on the sly. Darlene is scolded for lying, but they each ask her to hide the truth about something.
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